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The ‘What If’ Epidemic!

If there was a name for a virus that affected the livelihood of our physical existence, it would be ‘what if’! Mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health are necessities to a joyful, fulfilling life. However, the growing volume, strength and influence of ‘what ifs’ are gradually becoming an epidemic!

These two little words, that do not hold more than one syllable each can affect, influence and change the course of one’s entire life experience. These two words can haunt you in your sleep, be the reason for elevated anxiety, throbbing headaches, tight chest, endless tears and even the reason why you just want to ‘check out’.

They can stunt or break a dream and smear toxic poisons all over what used to be a purely inspired passion. They can ruin relationships, damage friendships and crumble careers; all from a single bogus ‘what if?’

If you ever wondered who is responsible for your disappointments…. it is ‘what if’!

If you were ever curious how clarity and certainty could turn into confusion and doubt…it is ‘what if’!

If you ever pondered how something that felt so right could suddenly feel so wrong…..it is ‘what if’!

They’re like that one colleague with a bad attitude that somehow always shows up and can ruin a perfectly good day with a simple comment. The one that is always complaining, demands answers and likes to put a damper on everything.

We are all well acquainted with these two incredibly influential words. We can say we have spoken and heard them equally. They’re part of our daily worrisome dialogue. When we are not throwing ‘what ifs’ at ourselves, we are generously bestowing others with them.

Sometimes, we don’t even feel we need to point out the ‘what if’ factor. When we really want to make a point, we’ll leave them out simply so that what follows is emphasized with greater intensity, purpose and sense of urgency. For example, ‘What if I end up alone for the rest of my life?’ could easily turn into the matter-of -fact: ‘I will end up alone for the rest of my life!’

If there were ever two joint words more exploited and disfavored, it would be these two. Never have two words been more powerful and concurrently debilitating than what follows them.

We are consumed with infinite possibilities of doom that we become imprisoned by our minds!

When it comes to fear-driven thoughts, images and beliefs, we are never more creative than what ensues a ‘what if?’ In fact, we could give a list of what if scenarios on any given topic in one sitting. There are more fear-driven projections collectively than there are leaves of every tree on the planet!

They range from personal what ifs that jeopardize our dreams, goals and joy to universal what ifs that threaten the extinction of all of life on Earth.

There is no shortage of potential apocalypses: super volcanoes, radiation, ice-age, absorption of the sun, asteroid threat – to name a few.

There is no shortage of potential termination to personal goals, dreams and desires. If we can imagine it, ANYTHING could threaten the full fruition of these.

We are consumed with infinite possibilities of doom that we become imprisoned by our minds!

Sometimes, by the time we are done dreaming our dream, it has lost its strength and significance. When a dream becomes contaminated beyond repair, it can completely alter our experience of it.

So why do we participate and dwell on fear-driven thoughts, and beliefs that are hindering?

Well, the sole reason is due to our belief that something outside of us has control and that we are merely the reactors to life rather than the creators of it.

Based on this rationale, we attempt to overcome them in two ways: prevention and preparedness.

“Good things will come but one must maintain awareness of the negatives at all times” was frequently expressed by my wonderful mother as if annoyed by my frivolous ways with life. She saw perpetual fun as lack of maturity which translated into not taking life seriously. It wasn’t that she was against my playful nature; her concern came from the belief that to deny potential risks, dangers, misfortunes or threats would be to walk through life without a survival kit.

Like many, she has always felt that the most effective way to avoid negative situations is through acknowledgement, awareness and preparedness of them. Anyone who floats through life with joy and optimism is foolish and naïve.

A wise person is someone who makes smart decisions and smart decision makers are not risk takers. They certainly do not rely on optimism. They are not flighty or fickle. They are not spontaneous or impulsive. They are planners and problem solvers.

The irony is, once these fear-driven thoughts have been acknowledged and invited into our mind and our emotions; they comfortably take front seat of our desires causing mayhem. Preparedness is practicing it, expecting it, planning for it and organizing our life around that which we believe is on its way to us.

Though we can appreciate being precautionary, it also sucks the fun out of life. It no longer is about enjoying it, rather, surviving it and merely getting through the day.

When we feel most alive and inspired to be, do, have something of importance, all those ‘what ifs’ start to come out of the woodwork. Maybe not so loud at first. Generally, the excitement far outweighs the negative, curve-throwing, nuisance thoughts. We know they are there, we can at times feel them but the eagerness and intensity of this high supersedes any vexatious imposters.

That is, until someone else has something to say about it!

And we all have something to say about someone else’s decisions, choices, actions, dreams and desires.

Like the time my little family and I announced we were packing up and moving closer to the mountains. We heard the mountains calling for quite some time. Our conversations were filled with details of every way our senses would be aroused and pleased by the beauty. We shared stories and visions and we would often squint our eyes and pretend distant clouds or buildings were mountain peaks. We submerged ourselves in youtube videos, maps, images, stories and anything we could find that stimulated this desire. Until one day, our stars aligned and we knew that day, that time had arrived.

There were a mix of emotions from our family and friends. Our friends were mostly excited for our new adventure. Our families? Well, not so much. Mostly because it opened doors to all the what ifs.

‘What if you don’t end up liking it and you gave up your beautiful home?’, ‘What if you can’t sustain your business there?’, ‘What if you can’t generate jobs and income?’, ‘What if something happens and WE are not close enough to help?’, ‘What if something happens and YOU are not close enough to help?’, ‘What if you get attacked by a bear, wolf, mountain lion?’, ‘What if you injure yourselves on one of your hikes or fall off a cliff?’

Then there were those statements made to emphasize the seriousness of this change. When ‘what ifs’ are eliminated and a question becomes a statement, you know there is a point waiting to be made and these will come out like loose cannons. They will get up in your face and challenge you.

‘You are making a foolish decision!’, ‘You are playing childish games with life!’, ‘You are so far from the only family you have and distancing yourself from your only source of support!’, ‘You need to start all over again’, ‘You will be alone out there!’, ‘You’re giving up a perfectly beautiful home!’.

It basically screamed, ‘Why would you live your life in the way that I wouldn’t or in the fearful way my mind lives it?’ Which is exactly the point. We are not living that life! None of us are. No-one wants nor dreams to live the life of a ‘what if’! They serve no purpose than to create major ripples in our lives or worse yet, colossal waves.

Eventually, the initial shock of the news subsides and our new adventure is somewhat accepted. However, the what ifs do not disappear. They maintain their ground until disproven for unless they are disproven, they remain a possibility. This is about the time the regular check-ins occur: ‘Do you like it?’, ‘Have you met anyone?’, ‘Have you generated any clients, leads?’, ‘When will ……. happen?’, ‘How will it happen?’

Worry, worry, worry!

It can be incredibly exhausting soothing others’ fears. What’s worse is disproving them which ultimately means we must not only promise that everything will work out perfectly but back it up with evidence. This can be intimidating and burdening for now the original impulse or inspiration of the dream has turned into an agonizing objective to prove it.

Most of the time, rather than focusing, imagining and moving toward the most invigorating and gratifying life experiences; we spend more time soothing others’ fears, explaining our choices, soothing others’ fears, justifying our actions, soothing others’ fears, proving our position, soothing others’ fears!

Sometimes some of our most exciting plans can make others a nervous wreck. Unless we are someone carefree and translucent to these types of fears, they can be quite deflating and damaging. The path that once looked bright and clear can quickly become obstructed with all sorts of obstacles and impediments that did not initially exist.

Often, we say these fears come from love and concern, when in fact this type of ‘love’ can decrease the momentum of strong, good flowing energy. More importantly, it is easy to lose direction when our inner intuitive guidance is drowned within the noise of mind-based chatter.

We do this with our partners by packing and stuffing guilt and fear-related thoughts; should these desires and impulses not go according to vision or plan. If they crumble at our constant pressures and all our negative fear-driven garbage along with demands of proof and promise, then they fail at being trusted.

We do this in particularly and most heavily with our children no matter what age we/they are because obviously, we/they will always be perceived as having less experience, be less perceptive, aware or knowledgeable than elders.

And we most certainly return the ‘favor’ to our parents through our frequent reminders of all the things they can and can’t do or should and shouldn’t do due to their age and fragility.

We spew what ifs, planting variety of worrisome thoughts all over the place suffocating and crippling genuine interests and desires.

We can’t seem to mind our own thoughts, our own fears and our own business. We do not like the feeling of fear-related thoughts but for some reason we stay there for days, weeks and even years crying our woes and sorrows and feeling victim to non-existing delusions.

Some of those interests that started off like a blazing flame diminish to a flicker. That grand dream we started running toward with power and excitement slowed to a walk and some of us even stopped and turned back altogether.

Momentum is lost through our what ifs!

Passion is lost through our what ifs!

Focus is lost through our what ifs!

More importantly, our present is lost through our what ifs!

When our focus has shifted to a bogus belief, it hinders our desire. It hinders our destination, journey and fire about it.

Often we are required to answer questions and provide guarantees to what ifs we cannot completely promise. However, our lives are not about fulfilling promises to others. They are about living joyfully and most authentically in whichever weird and wonderful way is befitting.

What ifs will show up. It should not make or break our choices. Ironically, none of these would show up as often if we were not already in the vicinity of them. We would not feel the fear of ‘what ifs’ if we were not already afraid of them. They would not be so easily acknowledged if we were not already seeing them.

The ‘what ifs’ do not exist! We make them up. We steal them from each other and use them somewhere else. We take notes, share them and store them in our memory. We repeat and recycle them and then await them anxiously, fearfully, sadly and angrily. Our fears are imagery. They are first imagined. They do not exist until we pluck them out of our imagination.

No matter what we decide for ourselves, when it feels exhilarating, then it is right where we need to be. When it feels enlivening, uplifting, exciting then we are ripe and ready for the experience. Provided we do only that which feels invigorating, all else is insignificant.

Fall deeply in love with life. Live it authentically, youthfully. Live like no-one is watching or you do not care who is watching! Even when the fears of others come barging in with all their dream-crushing stuff, do it anyway! Live it anyway!  

We are not required to listen to other people’s fears, and it is ok to get up and walk away or even hang up the phone if need be. Trust that everyone knows what is best for them. Trust that you know what is best for you. Trust that life will always deliver your every desire!

Maintain the feelings, thoughts and images that feel best. Be joyous. Don’t take life so seriously. It’s just life. Make it how you wish. Explore it and revel in all has to offer.

There are no rules or guidelines to how your life should be lived. That is human nonsense. Live like you are on vacation. Be free and curious. Trust that it is all working out. There are no obstacles other than the ones that exist in your mind.

Be the ultimate dreamer and visionary! Be the explorer and adventure seeker! Be the rock climber or ballet dancer. Be the single, unmarried mother or the married, gay father. Be an entrepreneur or volunteer worker.

Sleep under the stars, in a van, on the beach. Take a road trip around the country or sail around the world. Do things out of your comfort zone. Live outside the boundaries.

Live curiously! Live boldly! Live abundantly!

Live life like an announcement- not a question!

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What is Happening to Normal?

‘Normal’ is getting a little shaken up and it is not always received so graciously. We take what we consider to be normal quite personally. We like ‘normal’ where it counts like having normal blood pressure or anything that does not cause for alarm. But if it is tampered with, it can at times bring out the worst in us.

Our quarrels over normalcy have gone on for eons. Mainly because the question of normality has not only been inconsistent but contradictory. What used to be normal a century ago or even a decade ago is now bizarre and sometimes down-right unfathomable.

But whose normal is normal?

Google will tell us it is something “typical, common or customary”. However, we consider normal as something ‘true’ or ‘right way’. Along with in-built biases compiled by observing and mimicking our surroundings; most of our ‘normal’ is taught through our countries, societies, cultures, science, medicine, education, and religion.

We do our best to follow what is generally a consensual universal norm. However, our earliest habits and practices of ‘normal’ are picked up from our parents.

Born and raised in a western country with heavy European influences and background, I was quickly introduced to all my abnormalities during elementary school. Speaking another language was the obvious distinction to the oddity that was me and listening to teachers struggle to say my full ethnic name was mortifying.

Lunch breaks were a different kind of struggle. Pulling out a fried chicken liver and onion sandwich around other western children whose popular lunch meals were the simple: vegemite, peanut butter or the much loved ‘fairy bread’ (butter with cake candy sprinkles) sandwiches was daunting.

And there was no point arguing or pleading for cake candy sprinkles on buttered bread with a European mother whose ‘normal’ was feeding her children large, hearty, full meals; just shy of packing a whole lamb roast right out of the oven. Oh, the awkward torture of being different and outside the norm!

But every now and then I would sample these societal normalcies. There were only a few rare occasions where I would not devour my lunch in one gulp. For a short moment, I would feel like a normal western child. Maybe even a slightly upgraded version. My mother would meet me at the gate to bring me a BOUGHT hamburger. A giant, meaty, hot burger from the popular, local burger shop whose strong, meaty, ‘western’ smell would arouse their appetites. I relished the look of their envious faces as if I were enjoying the velvety smooth mush of a crème brulee.

Over time, multicultural awareness has expanded elevating our curiosity and appreciation of varying foods, clothes, dialects, and cultural practices.

As we expand and evolve, our exposure to new things, new ways and new practices bring about new normalcies. However, since normal is defined as something established and habitual, how normal is normal when it is ever changing?

Normalcies we become accustomed to are that which behave in a similar manner. It feels safe because it comes with familiarity and stability. For this reason, many of us are willing not only to deny eccentricities but go as far as abolishing them. We hold tight to our ideas of normal that we have a tendency viewing anything outside of these boundaries as defective. Since we like to feel safe and part of a unit, we typically embrace our established normalcies fiercely.

Therefore, often the way normal and abnormal is construed is largely due to society’s fear. When something looks, sounds, feels, and behaves different to that which we have adapted, we can view it as problematic.

But what are we afraid of?  

We ultimately worry about how it may affect and infect us and our families. We worry that accepting something outside of our programmed ways may spread and swallow us whole. We worry that it may shift what is currently dubbed as ‘normal’ into a minority perspective. We worry about being the minority! Some of us even believe that it is the devil morphing itself into humans attempting to summon us into the gates of hell.

Often, the longer we have practiced a certain way of living and thinking, we do not care much for change. We believe strongly in our compiled rights and wrongs and hold firmly to our beliefs. It is also predominantly why there are such large generation gaps.

Difference of opinion and outlook on life is forever changing and while youth rebel against the confinements of normal, older generations clutch tightly onto them. Our juniors are also more accepting and embrace difference whereas seniors tend to stand in judgment and criticism of these diversities. Until one day, they too will be required to let go of the normalcies they have embraced and become accustomed to.

However, it is not about customizing our normal to please the majority, it is about our attitude toward difference.

While we attempt to extract the fundamentals of normalcies, established normalcies leave no room for diversity. In fact, they get in the way of our authenticity.

When a child displays increased energy, we label them as having attention deficit disorder. When someone is not of the ideal, recommended weight for their height, we label them as fat and unhealthy. When someone’s romantic attraction is of the same sex, we call them gay.

Sometimes, what we justify as normal goes as far as to medicate and attempt to fix healthy behavior over disfavored personality type.

Sometimes, what we justify as normal goes as far as to humiliate and attempt to fix a healthy body over disfavored physical appearance.

Sometimes, what we justify as normal goes as far as to reject and attempt to outcast an individual entirely over disfavored sexual orientation.

We become so ashamed of our quirks and eccentricities we exhaust immense energy trying to alter and silence them. We do our best to perfectly camouflage or mold into the criteria of normal. We keep quiet about our children who do not fit into the social, intellectual, or physical norm and loathe ourselves when at times feel embarrassed by them. We closet who we are for fear of rejection. Some of us even lock ourselves away from the world outside by keeping interactions as minimal as possible.

Unfortunately, many who failed at being the manufactured normal, cannot bear the burden of internal bondage and have ran out of façade fuel find escapism through means of suicide as the alternative to liberating this inner being.

Concealing our uniqueness generates rage, deep sadness, and fear – emotions that erupt when pure energy is compressed and contained from its brilliance. And when these emotions seep out, it looks like mental instability, anxiety, and depression. It looks like something abnormal.

But at what point does ‘normal’ become our objective? At what cost do we stop being who we are and behave like they are?

At some point, denying and resisting our light will find its way out. It begs to shine. It wants to be present. It yearns to simply be.

It can be quite exhausting taming and training extraordinary to become ordinary. Our inner splendor will not surrender or comply to the confinements of human habits and logic. It cannot be less than that which it has expanded to be.  

Ultimately, no individual is normal. Some of us may be masterful chameleons; brilliantly able to adapt and change to our environment. Some are outstanding performers; able to fool the best of us. And some may have convinced themselves with absolute certainty of their preconditioned perceptions and beliefs as ‘the way’ and ‘the truth’.

However, without the fabricated layers, we are all weirdly, uniquely, and wonderfully abnormal. In fact, the only constant is diversity.

As infinite creators, there is nothing stable about us. Our imagination is boundless. For this reason we are ever moving, bending, flexing, and changing to the rhythm of our own songs.

Our inner extraordinaire is too bright, too brilliant, too fierce and too radiant to be concealed or tamed.

‘Normal’ should not be our objective nor should living within the boundaries of societal norms.

Do not box yourself into behaviors, opinions, beliefs and perceptions that are expected and accepted by the majority.

Do not take personally the criticisms of others. It is only those that judge the heaviest that are most envious of your freedom and most afraid to be their unique selves.

Never should someone else dictate how we express our beauty. Never should we require external validation of our profoundness. Light is light. Even with the thickest layer of clouds hiding the sun’s rays, it will maintain its glow.

Normalcies leave no room for diversity and without diversity there is no expansion. Only when we truly understand that diversity is part of expansion would we be able to embrace it.

Most of us never feel completely whole or enough, when on the contrary; we are abundance.

Insufficiency is not our dilemma; it is suppression of our divinity!

Ultimately, we are all magnificent colors of energy, each a unique, individual contrasting shade that when blended emit a most brilliant light.

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Whose Thought Is It Anyway?

Ever wondered where your thoughts come from? Where all those perceptions, beliefs and ideas about the world and yourself, were accumulated? Sometimes it feels as if your mind has a mind of its own.

Thoughts are like the perfect getaway where you can be anywhere, be anyone, or do anything in the privacy of your own mind. The convenience of exploring images and creating stories for simple satisfaction can be quite gratifying.

However, they can also be like a never-ending agonizing movie between pauses of sleep. Fear driven, random, obnoxious, stressful, and exhausting. If only there was a way to unsubscribe to this negative chatter. Ironically, you cannot seem to take your attention away from them. They engage you as if you are in some sort of hypnosis.

They are also like your mother constantly in your ear telling you what you should and should not do or encouraging you in what you can and cannot do. Actually, many of your thoughts are your mother. Not to worry, it is all out of love. Even as this ‘love’ follows you around through adulthood well after you have left the cozy, sheltered nest and her ruffled, protective feathers.

Luckily, they are not all your mother. They are also your father, your sibling, your teacher, your aunt and uncle, your neighbor, your priest, and every other adult deemed qualified to insert their opinions about you. 

Surprise! Not all thoughts are your own raw, authentic, inspired, and guided musings.

Thoughts are clearly not just a string of words. They are images, perceptions, and beliefs. While we do enjoy reveling in the succulence of our imagery and all of that which the imagination offers, we have a strong desire for the experience of them.  

Though a small chunk of what we think are what we refer to as nonsense thoughts that are random and insignificant, there are some thoughts that lie heavily on our hopes, dreams, and desires and often take up a great deal of our mind time. Other thoughts are action based and are filled with routine daily errands, to-do lists and work-related duties. But there are those habitual thoughts that are so well rehearsed they germinate all over every other thought. These thoughts are at the heart of all our daily chatter. These are the thoughts we practice, trust, and believe in that affect every aspect of our life experience.

They are perception of self!

Self-chatter is incessant. Whether we are doing the laundry, buying groceries, or interviewing for our next job, our self-chatter is constantly buzzing like an orchestra of cicadas.

Much of what we think and how we view ourselves influences our choices, actions, decisions, experiences, and future reality. Our internal dialogue is the makeup and narrative of our life story. What we believe becomes our imprint, our personality, our pattern of thought and template of experiences. Therefore, it is imperative we are aware of the kind of conversations we frequently entertain about ourselves.

How others perceive us rarely has anything to do with who we are. What goes in one ear does not go out the other so easily. Their opinions often get bound inside our beliefs without an escape chute and is regurgitated and recycled over and over like dirty laundry.

We hold faithfully to our nonsense garbage that we not only behave this way we allow it to affect our next action, next sentence, next idea and so forth. Sometimes we try to ‘quiet’ these thoughts during significant events or decisions. While we may succeed at times, they often become incredibly loud. So loud in fact that it causes us to become a nervous wreck.

Ironically, the stubborn, stagnant beliefs that do not serve or benefit us seem to be the ones we nurture the most. We have cradled them for so long, we have a hard time knowing ourselves outside of this noise.

But where did we pick up these thoughts? Where along the way did these thoughts become our friend or foe, strength or weakness, success or failure, freedom or bondage?

Let’s face it, there is a whole sea of self-sabotaging thoughts that can surge like a virus during our most vulnerable moments. If we allow them, they can consume any healthy optimism and leave us wallowing in self-pity. Even so, we should not worry; like any virus, it passes, and we are back to our usual, familiar jargon.

But, how much of our inner dialogue is remnant of those adult voices and guided by their opinions? How much of what we believe is still active by our past influencers?

When does someone else’s thought become our dominating thought?

Well, it begins with the stamp of our birth certificate. First a name is established along with gender and origin that automatically places us in categories. From then on as we learn how to operate and function our physical bodies, the filling, stuffing, and plugging up of our future mind chatter begins.

Children’s purity (meaning pre-adult pollutants), curiosity, joy, and eagerness for life marks them as naïve and vulnerable. For this purpose, any opinions, expressions, or perceptions outside the societal and cultural norm are often quickly adjusted and redirected by adults. It is as though a child’s youth is incapable of understanding things adults’ experiences and the struggles they have endured and overcome had taught them. Thus, succumb to a very restrictive and confined people pleasing lifestyle.

Adults are always well intentioned when they provide their long lists of what is appropriate and inappropriate along with the equivalent list of acceptable, expected criteria children are adult-pressured to follow. Such ‘coaxing’ is undertaken as a form of protection paving the way for a brighter and safer future. Or so they believe.

Our strengths and weaknesses are quickly identified through the perspectives of others that are sometimes gently, sometimes playfully and sometimes aggressively brought to our attention. We learn to adopt these views, accept them as our own and mold into the person/personality we have been perceived, told, described, criticized, and complimented we are.

School is where we learn a lot about our physical, intellectual, social, religious, and cultural differences. We learn to scale our intelligence according to criteria, stages, grades, and standards so from a young age we promptly discover how smart or ‘challenged’ we are. In fact, much of our self-knowledge is in direct comparison to another. We have all understood the insinuations when being encouraged to be ‘more or less’ like someone or something.

Unfortunately, ‘different’ can be quite daunting. We discover early on how to adapt to our environment by suppressing as much of what makes us different from the popular classes and categories as possible. This generally does not change much throughout adulthood; we simply advance in our fallacious performances.

Getting to know ourselves through the ‘eyes’ of others is deceptive. They can be unknowingly oblivious to how deflating, discouraging and disempowering their opinions can be. Sometimes they can be so oblivious they haphazardly share and express what pleases or disappoints them about us as if they were talking about the weather. Nevertheless, we are awarded their views and will continue to be reminded of them for as long as we listen.

Though we may be living under the roof of and ‘under the influence’ of our adult advisors for a brief, yet most significant time of our lives; we eventually break free, get kicked out or escape that wonderful opinion packed nest. We all taste that freedom of making decisions for ourselves. It can be a little intimidating at first when we no longer have someone telling us what to do but, our path to self-discovery is sweet.

It is important to note here that if you come from a European background, leaving the nest may not be till you are forty and no decision is your own decision for as long as your parents are alive. You are part of a unit, so you best be prepared for heavy guilt trips, analytical talks, lectures about life and of course the free psychic sessions about your future if you step outside these boundaries.

That true taste of freedom would not be until morbidly speaking, your parents die. And by that time, you have remained under their control for so long, you would only be just beginning your life what others have already lived in dog years. However, you have the luxury of security, home cooked meals, pampering and financial support. It is kind of the trade-off for being under their control. Let’s insert ‘loving’ control for their love is equally as fierce as their possession over you.

Meanwhile, throughout our adult life, we desperately search for this inner being that feels different to that which we have so devoutly practiced. We yearn for this raw self that has been suppressed for quite some time. The self that feels liberated and invigorated yet is declared forbidden. The self that we often attempt to keep quiet and hidden in an effort not to be criticized, judged, or rejected. The self we often attempt to connect with through travel, religion, books, hobbies, and other interests. The self we sometimes go to extremes for and rebel against to release it from the bondage of societal expectation and self-ambush.

However, one thing we all have in common no matter what our situation or circumstance is the freedom to simply think. The freedom to imagine. The freedom to explore and create all that our heart desires.

We also have the freedom to choose; choose that which benefits, that which uplifts, inspires, and strengthens our inner being. In fact, we have such innate freedom to choose the thoughts we think that we could choose to be imprisoned by the worst of them.

To some degree, we are all hoarders of thought. Our emotional attachments to these thoughts keep our grip a little tighter around them. We can even recall our first introduction to them.

“And that’s when my boyfriend said I was fat and pathetic”.

“And that’s the one when my teacher said nothing will come of me”.

“And that’s the one when my father said I’m too naïve to be successful”.

“And that’s the one my boss said I don’t have what it takes to be a leader”.

“And that’s the one society said unless you’re beautiful or successful, you won’t be noticed”.

Somehow, it is these untrue, polluted type of beliefs that are brought to the forefront of our minds while our inner radiant selves get lost in all the rubble. Of course, like any hoarder, the more negative thoughts we accumulate, the more isolated we become from the world and the more distant we become from who we are.

Cleaning out negative beliefs is a step toward inner relief and a giant leap toward personal empowerment.

So, it is time to take out the trash!

Letting go and cleaning out the negative beliefs and chatter is a step toward inner relief and a giant leap toward personal empowerment. If a thought does not feel ‘good’ then it is a waste of good feeling space. It does not deserve a spot on our mantel.

For some of us, it may be difficult letting go of thoughts that have been deeply rooted. Even if they are suffocating and cause dis-ease, they have been part of the clutter. That little ‘bad guy’ on our shoulder with the giant sack of negatives is so loud and obnoxious it is hard not to hear him.

Ironically, we grow to love that thing we hate simply because there is some sort of weird security and comfort in knowing what we know due to its familiarity and predictability. As disappointing and hurtful these thoughts may be, it is balanced out with the validation of what we already expect and believe thus, never feel surprised by them. These are the deeply rooted thoughts. The ones that have presented us with an abundance of evidence of that which we believe to be true. Yes, these are the ones that make us feel like multiple layers of garbage.

Note: we all think our way right to the evidence of all things. Even the garbage!

Unless we are quite happy with our self-sabotaging critiques, there is a simple solution to rising above all the smog and feeling the beam of our own light. However, simple fixes for Masterful Creators like us who relish contrast and expansion find them boring. Anything easy is not satisfying. We enjoy hard work and hard play because there is such satisfaction in the process of discovery and creation.

Fundamentally, we all have the freedom and the imagination to make this as easy breezy or as rough and tough as we please or insist.

There is no fantastic, elaborate procedure or top-secret strategy. The solution lies in our profound ability to ignore and forget. Yes, probably the two most difficult tasks for complex creatures such as us. Just like our magnified minds can ignite what is focused upon, likewise anything ignored becomes absent from our experience.

The beauty of forgetfulness is the opportunity for renewal. This is also the junction to expansion for nothing can expand or grow from the same stagnant ideas, methods, or practices.

Attention to anything keeps it active in our mind and as long it is active in our mind, it is active in our experience. The easiest way to decrease the volume of this internal negative noise is to change focus.

Life makes it easy for us. There are only ever two choices. Feeling good or feeling bad. Fear or faith. An optimistic, good feeling thought or a pessimistic outlook. The direction we choose to follow is completely our luxury.

Our opinion matters!

It is always and only our attention to a subject and our opinion about it that impacts our sensory experience of it.

Whether we are focusing on our appearance, our job, financial status or even something that looks scary and ugly; our attention to it will magnify its presence. Our opinion about it will show up through our emotional experience of it.

Thoughts we have accumulated will call out for our attention. However, it is not necessary nor benefiting to dwell on specific chatter that feels miserable.

If we bit into a rotten apple, would we continue to eat it? Would we dwell on it for days and months? Would we talk about it for years remembering how bad it was? Would we allow it to define us as bad decision makers and unlucky rascals? No! Whilst it sounds a little absurd, we do this! We may not necessarily be obsessing over a bad apple however, we often do this surrounding many of our past disappointments, failures, and regrets.

So how are thoughts about other experiences any different? Well, they are not. We just perceive them as invaders and out of our control. Even though we are the governors, commanders, directors, and managers of all that is allowed entry and granted permanent residency in our minds.

So, we took a chunk out of a bad apple. No big deal. We now know what a bad apple looks and tastes like. We learned what we do not want. We learned which tree not to pick from. It gave us guidance and eagerness for something better. And now, a ripe, sweet, juicy, crispy apple will be far more appreciated.

We instinctively look away from something unpleasant, block our ears from something obnoxious, spit out something distasteful, or pull our hand away from something painful. So why are we so stuck on hoarding thoughts that make us feel emotionally terrible?

Because somehow, somewhere along the way, someone convinced us of them. In fact, so convinced that we believe who we are and all that we experience is our pre-paved journey we were imprinted with. Even though, the only pre-paving was pre-conditioned by our elders. The rest was our life-long work of keeping this active and alive. But we failed to understand that feeling ‘bad’ is our indicator of inaccuracy.

Foreign thoughts or not, you are your own responsibility. This is not about adult bashing for all children bloom into those same adults and practices. Pointing blame at the world serves no purpose for no-one can think for you.

You are the thinker, the imaginer, the perceiver, the interpreter, and the decider of your own thoughts. It does not matter where along your physical trail you picked up on some perceptions, judgments, compliments, criticisms, interpretations, and evaluations of you.

What matters is what you choose to believe, hang on to, how you choose to live your life and how you choose to express your inner light.

No-one can know you better than you. No-one can be you better than you. Therefore, no-one should treat you better than you!

When you have been out of alignment for some time, it takes a little practice letting go of preconceived ideas and reconnecting with your brilliance. Basically, it takes some practice not giving a hoot about anyone or anything else outside of you.

Practice makes perfect!

Back in school, rote and repetition was the best learning tool. It helped for information to stick. Advertisements use all sorts of repetitive jingles and catchy phrases to make their product or service more memorable.

Practice truly does make perfect. But you have also literally practiced your way into many of these destructive beliefs that unlearning them can be tricky. Therefore, it is up to you to find your way of ‘practice’ below that serves to benefit and connect you to your authenticity, joy, and love.

Practice choosing better feeling thoughts.

Your feelings are your best guide as they communicate your thoughts and beliefs. When you begin to feel that negative feeling in whatever negative emotion it shows up, it alerts you that you are stepping away from the truth of who you are. When you really care about the way you feel, you will never pass an opportunity to think thoughts that feel good, empowering, and self-connected.

Practice being present.

You do not have to have it all figured out. Setting up your future is not about getting the next six months or six years done today. Your future and past are happening now. What you give your undivided attention to and have an opinion about now is automatically and simultaneously becoming your past and future experience. The momentum of your current thoughts will carry you into your new reality. Your future is the echo and projection of your present thoughts. Therefore, what you think is imperative for it will influence your next inspired action. Be joyful now! Be optimistic now! Love who you are now! As long as you have ‘now’ figured out, the rest will fall into place.


Meditation is the safe alternative antibiotic for the mind!

Practice meditation.

Meditation is like the safe, alternative antibiotic for the mind. It eliminates or slows down the negative thought ‘bacteria’ from multiplying. Quieting the mind allows the natural positive flow of your inner being to surface. Maintaining these healthier thoughts by remaining focused strictly on all that makes you feel good is your power potion!

Practice affirmations.

They can aid in breaking the habit of negative chatter and turn up the volume on positive aspects. Affirmations can assist in redirecting your focus until you realize your genius, your grace, and your inner beauty.

Practice writing in a daily gratitude journal.

It can be the new filling, stuffing, and plugging of appreciation chatter. Finding gratitude in things magnifies them and shines a light on all that surrounds you that you have forgotten. It will train your mind to continue to search for more things to be grateful for as your senses become accustomed to the beauty that abounds and surrounds you. It will assist you in realizing and recognizing your fortunes, blessings, and bounties.

Practice nature.

Being outside among nature is like a natural up-lifer. Mama Nature is most certainly an attention grasper and knows how to entertain. She is a great distraction and can charm even the most stubborn of thinkers. Nature can be that gentle reminder that nothing serious is going on and that all is well. She isn’t called ‘Mother Nature’ for no reason for just like your mama she provides that soothing, tender relief. She is like a big, warm hug with just the feel of the sun’s rays or the soft breeze. She will tell you a daytime story by surrounding you with a kaleidoscope of butterflies or invite a choir of birds to sing. Mama Nature is never intrusive. She is simply there in all her wrath and glory, a pure demonstration of absolute authentic beauty and power.

Practice reminding yourself of all that you love about who you are.

Submerge yourself in the fantasy of your greatest desires and dreams. Discipline yourself by only having conversations about things that make you feel good, excited, or inspired. Frequently remind yourself that all is well, and everything is ALWAYS working out for you. Apply these to your everyday routines until you begin to realize them.

Life is an infinite assortment of sensory pleasures. We are but a single product made up of a collection of bi products blended and intertwined.

If all that we think, all that we quarrel over, agree or disagree on, create and destroy is part of the same conscious physical world that we call life and that we co-create together; at the beginning and end of all that is, ever was or ever will be……………whose thought is it anyway?