The Race Against Inequality – A Divided Perspective

In a world that celebrates diversity yet remains fractured by disparity, the concept of race sits at the uneasy center of our social landscape. Race is commonly used to define and group people according to shared physical features and inherited social behaviors that society views as distinct. These attributes—often including geographical origin, language, and religious practices—help form the basis of group identity.

It is frequently these same traits that give rise to stereotypes. We often meet them with acceptance, lightheartedness, or humor. A skilled comedian can highlight these differences and draw knowing laughter from an audience that recognizes the shared observations. Yet beneath the laughter lies a deeper and more persistent contest: the race against inequality. The very differences that entertain us also continue to fuel divisions that stretch across generations.

The Power of Labels and Belonging

The world is saturated with labels. Like nearly everything else in life, we group people according to physical features and social behaviors. In fact, there is almost nothing on the planet—living or non-living—that is not sorted by type, rank, model, status, class, or grade.

Although we value individual creativity and personal beliefs, we are still drawn to groups. Belonging offers a powerful sense of security and identity, and most of us claim membership in many. Some of these affiliations are inherited, others are instilled early in life, and still others we choose along the way. We naturally connect with those who share common ground—and all too often judge those who do not.

The first group we automatically enter at birth is gender. Long before we can understand it, we are born into male and female expectations and stereotypes. We are also born into a religion, culture, and community. From our earliest days we are exposed to beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and practices that we absorb, imitate, and eventually accept as “true” or “the right way.”

People generally feel most comfortable with those who talk, act, and live like them. This tendency is not unique to any one group. We are naturally drawn to what feels familiar. How we dress, what we eat, where we live, and where we work often reflect our ethnicity, culture, and community.

Even while we resist being categorized or judged for our differences, we firmly defend our own groups. We protect them against negative stereotypes, prejudice, and especially inequality. We defend the shared attributes that have come to represent who we are and what we value.

Yet this raises a deeper question: How do specific groups come to experience such persistent disparities?

The Roots of Racial Tension

To understand racial tension and discrimination, we must first understand their origins. These forces do not require us to dig through artifacts or history books. They grow from practiced, pre-conditioned beliefs that we have allowed to ferment into powerful attitudes.

While we claim to appreciate variety, many of us still lean toward conformity, holding the quiet belief that diversity brings disorder. We prefer familiar beliefs, traditions, and social behaviors because they offer consistency and structure. As a result, we tend to stay close to those with whom we share common ground. Commonality feels safer—less complicated, less demanding.

This is why many cultures continue to encourage marriage within the same race or religion. The underlying concern is that someone from outside the group may disrupt established ways of living. Diversity is often viewed as a source of friction and unnecessary effort.

Yet we cannot escape diversity, and we too often fail to see that diversity itself is not the problem.

Diversity initiates expansion, propelling evolution. It is inevitable and necessary. Diversity inspires and elevates new ideas and creations. Through variety and contrast, new ideas emerge, perspectives broaden, and our capacity for love expands.

Perception, Opinion, and the Roots of Division

The only real adversities we face exist within the mind. It is our perception—and the opinions we hold about what differs from our own expressions and beliefs—that create division.

We are constantly exposed to an infinite variety of thoughts, opinions, and perspectives. From these, we tend to elevate those that most closely resemble our own. How we interpret the world, and how the world appears to respond to us, is always a reflection of our underlying beliefs.

Although we often assume that racial division begins with external appearance, what we are truly analyzing and judging is behavior. Because we tend to express outwardly what we feel inwardly, appearance can become a visual signal of how someone feels about themselves. While this is not always accurate, it frequently becomes the first—and sometimes only—impression of a person’s “type,” group, or class.

Physical features such as skin color remain outside our control and do influence societal perception. Yet behavior carries far greater weight and lasting impact than skin color alone.

So why do we remain so convinced that appearance is the primary driver of discrimination and inequality?

The answer is opinion.

Having blue or brown eyes is simply a physical trait until we attach an opinion to it. Our opinions form in two main ways: how we view ourselves in relation to others, and how we believe others view themselves in relation to us. These processes happen simultaneously. We draw conclusions based on the attributes we perceive as positive or negative and how those attributes seem to affect us.

What we believe about people with blue or brown eyes—how they behave and how we compare ourselves to them—shapes our experience of them. The world reflects what we believe. What we consistently echo outward helps shape the experiences that follow.

As observant and opinionated beings, we never stop analyzing and interpreting our surroundings. Profiling others is part of human nature—a protective mechanism. We rely on our senses and past experiences to detect behaviors or traits that might signal threat. When something feels unfamiliar, we become instinctively alert.

How Stereotypes Form and Persist

For the most part, we move through our days without excessive drama, anxiety, or suspicion. But when something stands out, we pay closer attention. The things that negatively stand out become learned “red flags”—impressions shaped by repeated patterns we encounter through media and personal experience. In the few seconds we have to assess a situation, we often sort people into categories as a way of determining potential threat.

We use our bodies, clothing, and presentation to tell our stories and express our beliefs, joys, and struggles. Some groups even adopt a visible style or uniform to convey a deliberate message—sometimes one of rebellion or difference. Onlookers, in turn, tend to mimic those they admire or aspire to become.

Consider a simple example. If a man with pink hair is shown on the news for robbing a gas station, he remains an individual. If a second man with pink hair commits a similar act, it may still be dismissed as coincidence, though mild suspicion begins to form. If men with pink hair appear repeatedly in connection with violence, the trait itself starts to be associated with fear. Even though not every man with pink hair is aggressive, the group begins to carry a collective reputation. Society approaches them with greater caution. This is a form of discrimination. As representatives of a visible group, individuals inevitably influence the reputation of the whole.

A similar dynamic appeared when global terrorism heightened public fear. The attributes “Muslim” and “Middle Eastern” were repeatedly highlighted in media coverage. As a result, many people began to view all Muslims with suspicion, or at least heightened caution. Negative impressions hardened into broader attitudes and behaviors.

As creatures of habit, we find it difficult to unlearn what we have absorbed—especially when it comes to perspective. Change feels risky because it leads into unfamiliar territory, and the unfamiliar often elevates fear. Embracing what we have learned to fear can feel like a risk not worth taking.

The same pattern appears with Pit Bulls. Once bred for bull-baiting and dog fighting, they developed a reputation for aggression. Even after many have been welcomed into loving homes and shown to be affectionate and loyal, public stigma lingers. Despite evidence of gentleness, many people remain uneasy in their presence.

Fortunately, time and consistent new experiences can gradually shift what we once feared into something we learn to appreciate.

Does Racism Exist?

So, does racism exist? Of course it does. It exists because many of us have experienced it directly or have heard the stories of others. It exists because we continue to discuss it endlessly. It exists because we keep reopening old wounds of inferiority and vulnerability. And it exists because we still pass past grievances and polluted narratives to new generations.

Does inequality exist? Yes—because we constantly compare ourselves as “better than” or “worse than” others, and we judge others by the same measure. These interpretations shape how we treat people.

Does judgment and discrimination exist? Yes—because we are insecure, observant, and opinionated beings.

Yet these forces are only as powerful as we allow them to be in our lives. Not everyone within a racial group labeled as vulnerable experiences themselves as a victim of racism. If members of the same group can have such different experiences—some feeling targeted, others not—then the claim of uniform racial inequality becomes less stable.

As an Australian of European background, I was bullied and outcast through much of elementary school for being a “WOG”—an Australian racial slur used against those seen as foreign or non-white. I was repeatedly told to “go back to my own country.” Yet my cousins and close family friends of the same age group enjoyed popularity. Even though I lived between one neighbor whose parents were Lebanese and another whose mother was Scottish and father Maltese, I seemed to be the primary target of racial bullying from the “white Australian” teenagers in our neighborhood.

While many within a particular group may feel discriminated against, an equal number within that same group may experience the opposite.

This raises a deeper question: Does racism exist primarily because of how we are perceived and treated by others, or because of how we perceive ourselves? What allows some people within the same group to experience victimhood while others do not?

Empowerment Over Blame

When people feel empowered and inspired to pursue their own dreams and desires, they no longer feel the need to blame the world for their struggles. They also stop seeking constant validation, acceptance, or approval from others. Their attention remains on their vision rather than on what others think of them or what others are doing. Obstacles become opportunities for growth instead of reasons to fault the world for their disappointments.

People are drawn to those who elevate and uplift. We are inspired by focus, perseverance, confidence, and real victories. Race or skin color holds neither special credit nor discredit for those who are self-connected and empowered—except to the degree that we ourselves emphasize it. It is the enthusiastic, passionate optimists who radiate gratitude and inner power who become the greatest influencers.

This is why Oprah Winfrey built an empire that surpassed many of her competitors. Being an African American woman often viewed as part of an underprivileged minority did not prevent her from achieving her dreams or exerting a powerful positive influence. Her success had far less to do with the color of her skin than with the quality of her spirit.

When we associate ourselves with the color of our skin instead of the person within, people will see the color of our skin and not the person within. We build our own empires around a subject and if that subject is race, then race will dominate our reality. We own it, make others aware of it, speak of it daily, think of it obsessively, gather evidence for it and surround ourselves with it as the reminder of this truth we are living. It will always show up. It cannot be otherwise. Eventually all our senses adjust to keep that subject at the center of attention.

Too often we separate ourselves by the labels and group identities we adopt, then spend our lives collecting proof of those labels and the beliefs attached to them.

Yet surely a person who views themselves favorably will more readily reflect achievement, success, and a higher quality of life. Surely someone who moves through life with vigor, confidence, determination, and a genuine hunger for living holds greater power than someone who sees themselves as a victim of others’ opinions or control.

The real conflict, then, is not primarily how we are perceived by others, but how we perceive ourselves. We cannot be deeply hurt or offended by something we do not already believe on some level. And it is not the responsibility of others to repair a negative perception we hold of ourselves.

This raises a final question: Are we victims of racism and inequality, or are we held hostage by the value we assign to other people’s perceptions?

The Hypocrisy in the Fight Against Inequality

The fight against racism is fundamentally a fight against inequality—the demand for the same respect, treatment, opportunity, and quality of life afforded to any other human being. No individual or group should be discriminated against on the basis of societal conditions, expectations, or preferences.

And yet we are often hypocritical in our passionate stance against inequality, because we do not always see everyone equally. We judge, blame, and sometimes ostracize an entire group based on the actions of a few. Even while supporting the rights of one group, we can remain oblivious to the fact that we are condemning another group for the same reason—the actions of a minority within it.

Holding a neighbor’s parents responsible for the way we feel our own parents raised us, or viewing all men as abusers and all women as unfaithful because of the behavior of past partners, is fundamentally unfair.

Ironically, we frequently fight inequality with inequality. We demand kindness and fairness through hate and anger. We insist on positive change through aggression and violence.

Protests continue to spread the message of the right to be different, the right to be accepted, and the right to an equal quality of life. This struggle has gone on for generations and has included many groups—women, the LGBT community, and others. The tension persists in ongoing oppositions: men versus women, Christian versus Muslim, gay versus straight, youth versus elderly, or those considered “normal” versus those living with mental or physical impairments.

Discrimination, stereotyping, judgment, and inequality are clearly not limited to race. But how fair are we to groups outside of racial categories? And how fair are we when the odds appear stacked against our own?

If racism simply meant judging another person because of physical difference or difference of opinion, then we are all guilty of it. There is not one of us who has never judged someone based on something we did not understand, could not relate to, or quietly feared. Likewise, every one of us has been judged, criticized, or subjected to some form of injustice. Being rejected for a position because of race does not wound more deeply than being rejected because of gender. Inequality is inequality.

Our group mentality has made many of us hesitant to extend simple kindness. What if the homeless man is a fraud or an addict? What if that group of Muslim men poses a threat? What if the young man in a hoodie with sagging pants is dangerous? What if the bikers are outlaws, the person in the trench coat unstable, the truck driver a predator, or the teenager with a backpack a thief?

As we move through the world and gather information, few of us feel guilty for exercising caution—clutching a bag a little tighter, avoiding eye contact, or choosing a different route. Few of us feel guilty for profiling in the interest of safety, whether the cues involve skin color, clothing, demeanor, or a combination of factors.

And if you noticed, nearly every scenario above involved a man. Does that make the observation sexist? Not necessarily. Women are statistically perceived as less of a physical threat. While we may be quick to label such awareness as racist or sexist, the truth is that we naturally register patterns of appearance and behavior and respond accordingly.

We have reached a point where we are taught to recognize certain signs of potential danger—and then judged for noticing them.

Beyond Race: The Many Hierarchies We Create

Race is only one of many factors that continue to separate us. Physical size, age, gender, occupation, financial status, assets, success, and education are merely the beginning of the ways we rank ourselves above or beneath others.

Children are often treated as incomplete humans—lacking experience and therefore presumed to hold no valid opinions about life. Seen as naïve and vulnerable, they become receptacles for adult perspectives, which are frequently imposed upon them without hesitation.

The homeless fill our streets and parks. Some of us avoid them, viewing them as potential threats or as people beneath us. Others use them to feel virtuous, offering a few dollars as a form of self-reassurance.

Even our past mistakes are rarely forgotten by society. Once a reputation has been damaged, the negative labels that follow are difficult to outlive, and regaining equal respect can feel nearly impossible.

When we believe we are better than others—because of our choices, our views, or our overall character—we tend to treat those we consider lesser with less kindness, fairness, and respect than we would offer someone we regard as an equal.

Perhaps the clearest expression of human hierarchy appears in our treatment of animals. We have decided that their lives hold less value than our own, a belief made evident in the ways we confine, kill, and commercialize them. The smaller or less charismatic the animal, the more easily its suffering is dismissed. In many respects, there is no greater ongoing inequality than the one we impose on the other creatures who share this planet.

Labels shape our behavior. Animals we call “pets” are often treated as family members. Those labeled “big game” become targets for entertainment. The rest are largely reduced to the food system. Along the way we selected the species easiest to control, mass-produce, and market—our farm animals—while driving many rarer species toward extinction for profit or prestige.

These perspectives settle into the mind like material that does not easily decompose. They become part of what we accept as normal and true. When a practice also brings us comfort, convenience, or a sense of superiority, we are especially reluctant to examine it. We resist those who challenge the habits we have grown attached to.

In the end, we spend so much energy ranking ourselves and others according to labels that we forget who we are beyond them.

Who We Are Beyond Division

While we cast stones and demand acceptance for what makes us uniquely different, the deeper question remains: do we truly accept ourselves? When we do, the opinions of others lose their power. Other people’s judgments and behaviors only hold weight when we fail to recognize our own worth and instead make others responsible for affirming it.

Inequality, discrimination, sexism, racism, and homophobia will continue to exist among individuals. Yet even with differing views of the world and our place in it, we generally manage to live side by side in relative harmony.

When difficulty strikes, we often come together. When a country is devastated by natural disaster, people offer kindness, support, and care without hesitation. When someone is hurt on the roadside, strangers stop to help. In those moments, race, gender, age, culture, and lifestyle choices fade into the background. We respond from a higher place—love. That response reveals something essential: this is who we are. This capacity is present in us all the time.

Party and place shape Americans’ views on discrimination.

Then there are politics and media. Both are large industries that frequently prioritize their own agendas, sometimes at the expense of public peace. Mass division is often amplified, if not manufactured, through these channels. They deliver a steady stream of problems, conflict, and instability. While this content can raise anxiety, what most reliably triggers anger and hostility is blame.

When entire groups are held responsible for a nation’s difficulties, citizens turn against one another. We become easy targets for narratives that stitch isolated incidents into a larger story of cruelty and discord. Those who raise their voices or fists against another group in response end up both intensifying the problem and becoming carriers of the very hostility they claim to oppose.

Media and politics are not the only forces that plant and nourish division. Fear and hatred toward other groups will continue to recycle as long as they are kept alive through what we sometimes call “education.”

Be the Change You Seek

Rehashing historical injustice and teaching generation after generation about the wrongs done to their group risks keeping anger and resentment alive. More importantly, it can inadvertently disempower the very people it aims to protect.

When we continually focus children’s attention on past injustice and fear, we send them into the world already primed to notice the color of their skin and the weight of history attached to it.

Ultimately, racism is not merely an action—it is a mindset. Terrorism, sexism, and homophobia are also mindsets. They are beliefs, perspectives, and opinions that shape behavior. While aggressive words and actions may be used to attack what feels threatening, the underlying fears will continue to shape experience for as long as they remain active.

As long as rage and hate are kept alive in the mind, they will reproduce more of what we claim to want abolished. As long as we believe ourselves to be victims, we will continue to generate evidence of victimhood. As long as we point to others as the authors of our story and the reason for how we live in the present moment, we surrender our power.

Personal empowerment does not reside in other people. It begins with mindset. If we demand that others change so we can feel better about ourselves and the world, we may wait a lifetime. No one enters this life with the assignment of fulfilling our desires or soothing our fears.

In the end, it does not matter to which god we pray—we all hope for a better world. It does not matter which political views we hold—we all want a better country. It does not matter how we express ourselves—we all want to be loved and accepted. It does not matter what beliefs we carry—we all want to be heard and understood.

Therefore, be the change you seek.
If you want equality and fairness, practice them—not only with those you already consider your equals.
If you want kindness, offer it—not only to those you believe deserve it.
If you want unity, extend it—not only to those who share your category or narrative.
If you want to be heard, listen—especially to those who disagree with you.
If you want to be embraced for who you are, practice embracing others for who they are—not only those who look or think like you.

Be the clearest example of what you wish to see.

Ultimately, it does not matter what others believe or do. What matters is what you believe and what you do.

We are not the same. We differ down to our DNA. We do not want the same things, think the same thoughts, interpret life the same way, or hold the same beliefs. Unity is not sameness. It is not about thinking, behaving, or believing identically.

Unity is the willingness to embrace difference—to respect and appreciate everything that makes each of us uniquely ourselves. Not only the color of our skin.

But we can begin there.

The Boundaries of LABELING!

Evy: female, tall, born Australian with European heritage, sister, wife, daughter, aunty, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, doggy mom, vegetarian, outdoor junkie, animal lover, former elementary teacher, entrepreneurial photographer and writer, blogger, occasional generalized anxiety….This will get boring if I keep going but it is merely to show how many labels we carry.  

Labels are part of language like identifying a type of bird, specific mountain or clothes we wear. They either provide information about an object or it is a name applied to a person or thing.

Labels are titles that give us a sneak peek or preview about who we are.  

Though we adore some of our labels such as mom, dad or grandparent; they also come with an entourage of stereotypes and expectations. For this reason, some labels we’ll flaunt while others will never or rarely be spoken of.

We wear our labels like we do our choice of clothing. They tell stories about us or at the very least provide generalized summaries. Thus, our quickest and most common mode of learning about each other is to find out where we are from and what we do for a living.

Learning about someone’s origin gives us plethora of stereotypical information and exploring occupational interests or expertise will tell us a little about their intelligence, success and wealth. Based on this information alone, we generally conclude whether someone is worthy of our time.

Unfortunately, labeling is like a scaling system. Dependent upon one’s labels and another’s individual opinion around those labels, it could credit or discredit our value and worth.

There have been many instances when I had felt reluctant and even ashamed to share information about being of European decent. It wasn’t always received or embraced as politely as I would have hoped.

On the flip side – since residing in the US – telling people that I am Australian when questioned on my accent has been enjoyable. People’s eyes light up, they want to engage in conversation, and I sense an instant likability – simply because I am Australian.

And just like that, I get bumped up the acceptance scale. Of course, I have more to offer than my place of birth or speech, however, when there are obvious differences among a group or society, there is a fine line between being accepted or rejected. What tips the scale is dependent on the general perspective and opinion around a label. Since Australians overall are largely favored, the label thus far has proven beneficial for me.  

Though there is a generalized opinion about Australians, it says nothing about who I am, nor does my profession.

Working retail has lost its credibility over the last couple decades and unless you are the owner or CEO of a company, working retail is looked down upon. It also wasn’t something I wanted to flaunt particularly among those with valued professions.

However, having a teaching degree up my belt somehow increased my worth. It is obvious through people’s reactions how quickly we are to judge and how quickly we can sway between worthy and unworthy. But it still has nothing to do with who I am.

There are unspoken broad assumptions we make about someone based on a single isolated label and we believe we know someone simply because we believe we know the label.

Labels are subjectively opinion packed. We decide what labels are accepted or rejected therefore, anyone attached to those labels will either be embraced or outcasted.

They are merely distinguishers where on the hierarchy scale we rank according to race, gender, nationality, religion, success, fame, fortune, degree, occupational position, appearance and intelligence.

When these are established, we treat each other according to our collective label status and where on the worthy scale we belong.

So, what is the primary purpose of labels?

There are two: identification and belonging – which go hand in hand.

We want unity and in a physical world, labels connect us. They connect us racially, culturally, religiously, economically and spiritually. This connection gives us a sense of belonging.

Basically, labels point out our diversities and we like some of our labels because without them we feel misplaced. Even if the one we carry is not largely accepted, there is still a place we can find solace. They also allow us to stop worrying if something is a threat or just different. Unfortunately, we aren’t always so kind to difference and we are not always equally as respectful. We simply decide whether someone is above or beneath us.

But not all labels are as black and white as we have been accustomed to. There are ‘grey’ areas arising that many are not quite sure what to do with.

When ‘difference’ is rejected, we attempt to join those we have something in common with for comfort. Those who cannot find their ‘group’ or label will wander solo harboring heavy feelings of insecurity, hatred, depression and suicide.

There have been specific labels many groups have spent years fighting for recognition. They have rallied and protested for the right to be different, the right to be accepted and the right to simply be without feeling threatened. They have hoped that labeling will provide information and educate society on these diversities. However, education around a label only acknowledges the label.

Not so long ago, some labels were deliberately offensive, cruel and rejecting. Nowadays, those labels have been softened to reduce the cruelty and negative impression behind them. But does replacing a tainted label for a politer one reduce the stigma or stereotype? Do euphemisms change our perception and approval?

Though we may extend compassion and even be more inclusive of difference, for many, the residual feeling of something being defective remains. We still fear our children will be born different or make different choices in life that go against our beliefs. We continue to fear for their safety or quality of life in a world perceived cruel and critical. Ironically, we are part of that world and part of that society we fear.

But, at what point do labels become our ball and chain? At what point does clutching tightly onto our labels not only define us but become us?

Labels that are gained not by choice but through other physical causes that separate us from the majority are ones we clutch to for societal sympathy and understanding. We want something to point the finger at for our physical or behavioral differences.

Often when something is not quite physically ‘right’ or ‘normal’ and we cannot make sense of what is happening, we search for answers. Experiencing something outside the ‘norm’ can be scary particularly when we are not certain if it is a threat. Additionally, anything unknown or unfamiliar is strange and anything strange is often feared.

People do not know how to respond to ‘different’ which often leads us to feeling like emotional refugees hoping for acceptance. To avoid being completely outcasted, we anticipate explanations and solutions that fit under one label.

Once again, being provided with a medical title gives us a sense of relief. Understanding what alters our physical, behavioral and emotional attributes can offer solutions and increase our chance for ‘normalcy’. For this reason, labels educate and provide tools in understanding best practices.

When we realize we have difficulty reading and trouble in processing words that sets us apart from other readers; the ‘dyslexia’ title can be somewhat comforting.

When we feel overwhelmed with what if’s, perfectionism and our heart is racing with fear; the ‘anxiety’ title is somewhat soothing.

When our children have impaired communication and social interaction; the ‘autism’ title can be somewhat reassuring.

Labels makes us feel we are not alone.

However, the problem with labeling is pigeon-holing and we often find ourselves living only within the confinements of our labels. We recognize our diversities and then adopt them as the image of all that we are. Often, we spend so much focus on our labels, we forget who we are outside of them.

We fail to recognize our labels are merely part of the physical world we have created and have nothing to do with our inner brilliance.

When we walk through nature, we are surrounded by variety. In a short walk, we could pass an assortment of trees: pine, birch, shrubs, cherry, aspen – to name a few. We would also encounter various colored and sounding birds; none of which we would know the names of. They would all fall under the umbrella – trees or birds. But does not knowing their specific type, category or name affect our walk? Does knowing their labels, understanding their behavior, habitat or ecosystem change any part of our life experience? When we walk through nature, we simply embrace and appreciate our surroundings. There isn’t anything fighting for our attention nor are we interested in picking apart and analyzing the details of every bird or tree we pass. We absorb our surroundings whole and we appreciate the beauty they offer collectively.

“Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.” Anonymous

Though labels could assist to educate society and at times save lives by providing belonging to those who have felt alone; bringing awareness toward labels only serves to highlight the label.  What we hope for is minimizing society’s negative reactions and prejudice attitudes, however, we wind up boxing ourselves within the boundaries of the labels.

Furthermore, the toughest labels to conquer are the personal negative ones we create along the way. Whether it is through our negative self-criticism we train others to acknowledge and believe or it is a label we picked up due to some of our actions or ‘errors’; these labels stick like tattoos. They may fade over many years, but they remain permanently engraved as part of our character. Unfortunately, for a liar, cheater, thief, abuser, alcoholic or drug addict it can be taxing trying to overcome or rise above such titles. No matter how much time passes or how hard one attempts to change their behavior, society will never let you forget it.

We can be quite brutal and unforgiving with certain labels and oblivious that not only is it utterly unfair but negative tags only serve to foster undesired behavior.

Labels are limitations and major misinterpretations of the greater expressions of who we are in this physical world. In fact, they are deterrents from the depth, grandeur and sublimity of all that we are.

To know something expansively, it must not be defined, labeled or named.

Labels acknowledge labels, not the whole of that which it is.

The most wonderful thing about life is that abundantly more beautiful souls are emerging into this physical world hauling a sack of diversities.

For every ‘special’ child born in a household, behold the extraordinary they have come to teach and the expansion they have come to provide. More particularly, expansion of the heart.

They are coming to free our minds and break through the barriers of conditional love. To teach that love is not choosy, nor does it require labels to understand how to love. Their purposeful uniqueness, originality and novelty brings renewal, freshness and advancement.

They are here to be a triangle in a world full of squares and reject being shoved into a box to accommodate others’ preferences, opinions and ideals. Instead, their ‘difference’ forces to awaken us from our fierce focus and hold onto societal ideologies. They are here to free us from the bondage of practiced thoughts and habits.

Boundaries are being pushed, our realities are being shaken and diversities are popping up against all we have been programmed to believe. There are diversities that go against our personal, religious, cultural and societal beliefs and expectations.

And every bit of it is wonderful!

New generations are combating every deeply rooted belief about ‘normal’. They are loosening our grip on conditional love. Due to their courage to be different by choice or birth, love has expanded more than ever before.

When the rules of ‘normal’ are deliberately broken, it fractures our attachments to labels and perceived, programmed normalcies. When those closest to our hearts such as our children pull the plug on a label or replace it with a new one, it forces intense self-evaluation.

This can be uncomfortable and for many, a large burden and struggle. When our children go against that which we are accustomed to, we learn to love like we have never loved before. We also begin to see and feel our prejudices for the first time. We realize how harmful such judgments can be on labels when they boomerang back home. So when our child says they are ‘gay’, our ‘Muslim’ son says he is converting to ‘Buddhism’, our ‘Asian’ daughter says she is in love with an ‘African’ man, our doctor claims our boy is ‘autistic’, we learn our son has a drug addiction or our teenage daughter is pregnant; it forces us to step outside of our pre-conditioned minds.

Since we are energy beings, love always knows what to do and how to respond in any situation without the support of scientific, medical or religious research. Facts, figures, formulas and theories cannot journey where love does nor can they heal, soothe, embrace and elevate the way love does. Love truly is blind – blind to the conditions, fears, criteria’s, specifics, requirements, judgements, criticisms, demands and perimeters. Love is a powerful, euphoric force that does not meddle in physical barbarian nonsense. It embraces, accepts and unites.

Where labels are absent, there is freedom of movement, of transformation, of change and reinvention.

For every unique, ‘different’ person that exists in your family; hug them tighter. Thank them for their courage, bravery, lessons and blessings. Thank them for freeing your mind bound in judgment and fear. Thank them for elevating your bravery through your love for them.

Thank them for showing you that love does not care for ‘normal’ or safe. It does not care what it looks, feels, smells, tastes or sounds like. It does not care for familiar or similar. It does not care for what is right or wrong, for perspectives, opinions or fear-based thoughts. It does not care for scientific explanations, religious teachings, cultural expectations, racial biases, gender antics or societal facts, figures and statistics.

It cares only to love. Love beyond boundaries! Love beyond the mind! Love beyond our fears and labels!  

Then embrace them for all that they are and all that you have become because of them.

What is Happening to Normal?

‘Normal’ is getting a little shaken up and it is not always received so graciously. We take what we consider to be normal quite personally. We like ‘normal’ where it counts like having normal blood pressure or anything that does not cause for alarm. But if it is tampered with, it can at times bring out the worst in us.

Our quarrels over normalcy have gone on for eons. Mainly because the question of normality has not only been inconsistent but contradictory. What used to be normal a century ago or even a decade ago is now bizarre and sometimes down-right unfathomable.

But whose normal is normal?

Google will tell us it is something “typical, common or customary”. However, we consider normal as something ‘true’ or ‘right way’. Along with in-built biases compiled by observing and mimicking our surroundings; most of our ‘normal’ is taught through our countries, societies, cultures, science, medicine, education, and religion.

We do our best to follow what is generally a consensual universal norm. However, our earliest habits and practices of ‘normal’ are picked up from our parents.

Born and raised in a western country with heavy European influences and background, I was quickly introduced to all my abnormalities during elementary school. Speaking another language was the obvious distinction to the oddity that was me and listening to teachers struggle to say my full ethnic name was mortifying.

Lunch breaks were a different kind of struggle. Pulling out a fried chicken liver and onion sandwich around other western children whose popular lunch meals were the simple: vegemite, peanut butter or the much loved ‘fairy bread’ (butter with cake candy sprinkles) sandwiches was daunting.

And there was no point arguing or pleading for cake candy sprinkles on buttered bread with a European mother whose ‘normal’ was feeding her children large, hearty, full meals; just shy of packing a whole lamb roast right out of the oven. Oh, the awkward torture of being different and outside the norm!

But every now and then I would sample these societal normalcies. There were only a few rare occasions where I would not devour my lunch in one gulp. For a short moment, I would feel like a normal western child. Maybe even a slightly upgraded version. My mother would meet me at the gate to bring me a BOUGHT hamburger. A giant, meaty, hot burger from the popular, local burger shop whose strong, meaty, ‘western’ smell would arouse their appetites. I relished the look of their envious faces as if I were enjoying the velvety smooth mush of a crème brulee.

Over time, multicultural awareness has expanded elevating our curiosity and appreciation of varying foods, clothes, dialects, and cultural practices.

As we expand and evolve, our exposure to new things, new ways and new practices bring about new normalcies. However, since normal is defined as something established and habitual, how normal is normal when it is ever changing?

Normalcies we become accustomed to are that which behave in a similar manner. It feels safe because it comes with familiarity and stability. For this reason, many of us are willing not only to deny eccentricities but go as far as abolishing them. We hold tight to our ideas of normal that we have a tendency viewing anything outside of these boundaries as defective. Since we like to feel safe and part of a unit, we typically embrace our established normalcies fiercely.

Therefore, often the way normal and abnormal is construed is largely due to society’s fear. When something looks, sounds, feels, and behaves different to that which we have adapted, we can view it as problematic.

But what are we afraid of?  

We ultimately worry about how it may affect and infect us and our families. We worry that accepting something outside of our programmed ways may spread and swallow us whole. We worry that it may shift what is currently dubbed as ‘normal’ into a minority perspective. We worry about being the minority! Some of us even believe that it is the devil morphing itself into humans attempting to summon us into the gates of hell.

Often, the longer we have practiced a certain way of living and thinking, we do not care much for change. We believe strongly in our compiled rights and wrongs and hold firmly to our beliefs. It is also predominantly why there are such large generation gaps.

Difference of opinion and outlook on life is forever changing and while youth rebel against the confinements of normal, older generations clutch tightly onto them. Our juniors are also more accepting and embrace difference whereas seniors tend to stand in judgment and criticism of these diversities. Until one day, they too will be required to let go of the normalcies they have embraced and become accustomed to.

However, it is not about customizing our normal to please the majority, it is about our attitude toward difference.

While we attempt to extract the fundamentals of normalcies, established normalcies leave no room for diversity. In fact, they get in the way of our authenticity.

When a child displays increased energy, we label them as having attention deficit disorder. When someone is not of the ideal, recommended weight for their height, we label them as fat and unhealthy. When someone’s romantic attraction is of the same sex, we call them gay.

Sometimes, what we justify as normal goes as far as to medicate and attempt to fix healthy behavior over disfavored personality type.

Sometimes, what we justify as normal goes as far as to humiliate and attempt to fix a healthy body over disfavored physical appearance.

Sometimes, what we justify as normal goes as far as to reject and attempt to outcast an individual entirely over disfavored sexual orientation.

We become so ashamed of our quirks and eccentricities we exhaust immense energy trying to alter and silence them. We do our best to perfectly camouflage or mold into the criteria of normal. We keep quiet about our children who do not fit into the social, intellectual, or physical norm and loathe ourselves when at times feel embarrassed by them. We closet who we are for fear of rejection. Some of us even lock ourselves away from the world outside by keeping interactions as minimal as possible.

Unfortunately, many who failed at being the manufactured normal, cannot bear the burden of internal bondage and have ran out of façade fuel find escapism through means of suicide as the alternative to liberating this inner being.

Concealing our uniqueness generates rage, deep sadness, and fear – emotions that erupt when pure energy is compressed and contained from its brilliance. And when these emotions seep out, it looks like mental instability, anxiety, and depression. It looks like something abnormal.

But at what point does ‘normal’ become our objective? At what cost do we stop being who we are and behave like they are?

At some point, denying and resisting our light will find its way out. It begs to shine. It wants to be present. It yearns to simply be.

It can be quite exhausting taming and training extraordinary to become ordinary. Our inner splendor will not surrender or comply to the confinements of human habits and logic. It cannot be less than that which it has expanded to be.  

Ultimately, no individual is normal. Some of us may be masterful chameleons; brilliantly able to adapt and change to our environment. Some are outstanding performers; able to fool the best of us. And some may have convinced themselves with absolute certainty of their preconditioned perceptions and beliefs as ‘the way’ and ‘the truth’.

However, without the fabricated layers, we are all weirdly, uniquely, and wonderfully abnormal. In fact, the only constant is diversity.

As infinite creators, there is nothing stable about us. Our imagination is boundless. For this reason we are ever moving, bending, flexing, and changing to the rhythm of our own songs.

Our inner extraordinaire is too bright, too brilliant, too fierce and too radiant to be concealed or tamed.

‘Normal’ should not be our objective nor should living within the boundaries of societal norms.

Do not box yourself into behaviors, opinions, beliefs and perceptions that are expected and accepted by the majority.

Do not take personally the criticisms of others. It is only those that judge the heaviest that are most envious of your freedom and most afraid to be their unique selves.

Never should someone else dictate how we express our beauty. Never should we require external validation of our profoundness. Light is light. Even with the thickest layer of clouds hiding the sun’s rays, it will maintain its glow.

Normalcies leave no room for diversity and without diversity there is no expansion. Only when we truly understand that diversity is part of expansion would we be able to embrace it.

Most of us never feel completely whole or enough, when on the contrary; we are abundance.

Insufficiency is not our dilemma; it is suppression of our divinity!

Ultimately, we are all magnificent colors of energy, each a unique, individual contrasting shade that when blended emit a most brilliant light.