Tag: thoughts

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Mental Dystopia

Dystopia is an ancient Greek word meaning ‘bad place’. Whilst ‘bad’ is a broad term, we could agree, ‘bad’ is not an environment one would thrive or find joy and comfort in.

Societies, countries, and the world overall are often viewed as a ‘bad place’ filled with environmental issues, inequality, elitism, racism, and heavy enforcement of conformity. A place where freedom of expression and thought feel denied and where hopes and dreams are abandoned. A place where we do not feel safe.

However, whilst our environment can be a persistently annoying influence, how bad we feel internally has nothing to do with how bad we believe it is out there. Therefore, what goes on in our minds supersedes what is going on externally. Primarily because everything encompasses perspective.  

Mental dystopia is not a head cold that can be remedied with chicken soup and ginger tea. It is not a medical condition or disorder. The chemical imbalances many refer to are the physical responses to our thoughts. It is the physical body mimicking the imbalance of our mind. Therefore, the fundamental disorder is imbalance of thought. It is an inclination to focus heavily on negative aspects of ourselves, others, and the world which keep us stuck in a state of fear, doubt, and sadness.

Regardless of how much we feel victim of our current situations, mental dystopia is our ability to come to the worst conclusions, holding ourselves hostage to these beliefs and then feeling paralyzed by them. As thinking beings, it is inevitable to get wrapped up in mental drama.

Unfortunately, we spend an excessive amount of our ‘mind time’ in a bad place. Between news and social media’s heavy negative influencing, rage igniting, panic-inducing stories, it is hard to escape the buffet of chaos, instability, and fear-driven madness. This kind of mental jargon can be emotionally debilitating.

However, our minds are far more valuable than we realize. Our minds are like tentacles that connect us to every person, place, thing and beyond. They allow us to journey to the furthest reaches of creation and exploration. Our wish is its every command. It is our place of analyzation, inspiration and sometimes even solace. It sifts through, sorts, and gathers information, opinions, and beliefs harvested through our senses. It helps categorize and compartmentalize memories and ideas. More importantly, it is the initiator of energy, also known as emotion.

Energy charged from emotion is the force that generates movement that results in what we call life experience. All stories, beliefs, ideas, opinions are felt and expressed through emotion first before they become what we know as reality.

So, what does it mean to have mental dystopia? And why are so many vulnerable to it?

With the rise of anxiety and depression, the world and our environment are quickly becoming our foe.

Fear of the unknown and the unfamiliar is considered a normal emotion. Everyone has felt nervous, anxious, and even panicked at some time. It is when we remain there for long periods of time that it can become crippling. Trying to be happy or look for the light in something you no longer recognize is tiresome. A place where you no longer have dreams nor care for them. There is no motivation to be, do or have anything. A loss of faith, belief, and zest for life. A sort of flat lining of emotions where there are no significant highs, or lows – just a yearning for rest and relief.

However, not a single negative emotion is normal. Not one. Not even a little bit. They are physical human characteristics felt when we disconnect from our highest self. It is internal conflict when our minds are not in alignment with the harmony, balance, and divinity of our inner being. It shows up when we search for validation, inclusion, and acceptance from others. When we allow our environment to define us. When we remain stagnant and artificial for the appeasement of those around us. It is abandoning our power where all the marvel and magic happens.

Our normal state of being is joy and when we linger in the emotional energy that disconnects us from joy, it feels bad. When we think in opposition to the brilliance that we are, and we believe things in opposition to the light and love that abounds, it will always feel ‘bad’. It is one of our greatest senses. It is our best indicator that we are behaving, thinking, and believing adversely to our greater knowing. It is resisting the flow of pure exhilaration and positive energy.

When we study the causes of mental dystopia, we tend to blame it on genetics, or external and environmental factors such as psychological trauma, abuse, or inherited susceptibility. And whilst they do play a role in how we view our world; they can often become our crutch for what is going on up in our noggin, for the way we feel, and for our behavior and choices in life.

It is typically easier to fall on blame. Partially because we do not want to be responsible for our misgivings. Partially because we enjoy the positive attention we receive from negative circumstances. But mostly because we are genuinely unaware of our own creative control.

When our internal compass has been tampered with and stuffed with doubt, we forget how to use it. We fight hard to be the best we can be for everyone but ourselves. We do this by making it more important to be liked/loved by ‘them’. More important to be accepted, embraced, and appreciated by ‘them’. More important to soothe ‘their’ fears than to experience our greatest heights. More important to be all that ‘they’ want us to be than to revel in our own authenticity.

Unfortunately, all these merely aim to mute the extraordinaire within us. Such silencing and self-suppression is felt as deep sadness. Consequently, prolonged denial of self induces depression.

Regardless of our upbringing or privileged lifestyles, none of us are immune to it. Though not always to our advantage, we do find alternative routes which allow us to temporarily escape, silence, or alter our minds. We tend to believe it is our way of escaping the world’s problems. However, the world’s problems only exist to the extent we allow our minds to marinate in them.

In our desperate attempt to find escapism we typically turn to alcohol, drugs and even suicide. Ultimately, we are finding the path of least resistance. The shortcut to fast soothing. Due to this, we realize many alternate paths are only temporary before developing toxic addictive behavior. However, never truly feeling ‘safe’ in our environment is not relative to physical security. It is the search for emotional balance and psychological refuge.

Whilst pills may temporarily numb our focus or ability to think about anything intensely, it cannot prevent creativity. It cannot stop our thinking. It cannot change the way we perceive the world.

We may believe our choice of escapism is a relief from this physical world deprived of good. However, in truth, we are retracting from self-sabotage. We are releasing negative dialogues and letting go of thoughts that cause dehydration of joy. When our minds suppress and deny the physical body of a heightened best quality of life, it will crave relief.

It can at times be easier said than done. As creative beings, the smorgasbord of creative choices in conjunction with external influences can be distracting. We love to dip our feet into challenges and contrasts as much as we relish our blessings. We enjoy pushing our own limits and boundaries because they bring us purpose and fresh ideas.

However, it really is as simple as deciding on a thought that feels better over a thought that feels bad. We have the power and control to view the world in any way we desire. We have the choice to focus on our blessings or misgivings. We have the option to dwell in appreciation or animosity. We can approach things with humor or haste. We can fixate on abundance or lack. In fact, we are so free in choosing our thoughts, we could choose to be imprisoned by the worst of them.

Ultimately, nothing is real.  All of it is make-believe. We make it up as we go along choice by choice by choice. We practice it to perfection. We make up the rules, the rights and wrongs, the parameters and the chorological order in which things should transpire. We decide what, when and how personally, professionally, culturally, religiously, and even universally. We create the labels, and the rules and then live within the confinements of them. We practice, share, and live by these fantasies until they become our norm. Or, until a new generation comes along and mixes it all up.

The irony is we are our minds. We are the imaginers and creators of our experiences. We are the visionaries, artists, architects, sculptors, authors, and inventors in this matrix we refer to as life. We are the thinkers of our thoughts. We are the creators of our ideas and stories through a perpetual engineering of opinions that are filtered through our senses. We decide how to interpret and manipulate every detail in life. Through this we are thereby weaving our own masterpieces whilst collectively stimulating emotional energy.

We are the summoners of life. We attract like thoughts by where we give our undivided attention to. Thus, we extract specific people, places, and things that simulate and reinforce our beliefs.

Everything yearns for our attention. Attention to anything gives it more energy, more life. The only question is, does it serve our interest?

This physical life is the vessel that creates matter. It is through our stories that we decide what is important to us. Without stories, opinions, and beliefs there is no friction, passion, or desire. Without this energized force generated through emotions there is no movement, or expansion.

The fun of this is we are all in this together. We are all a little or a lot insane, but nevertheless, insane. If we could hold ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally in a place that causes anxiety, fear, angst, and depression, then we are in fact a little crazy. The belief that there is already a fixed future out there and we need to hope it is a good one or prepare for a rough journey is also a little foolish. However, no matter what wild ride we have individually chosen to be on, we are all going to be okay.

To maintain a balanced and more positive life experience with a little less nutty and a lot more sugar and spicy, here are some suggestions.

Allowing

Being mindful of what and who we allow into our lives is important. A large part of our experiences is by virtue of allowing. Nothing can insert itself, its ideologies, and opinions upon us without our approval of them. There is nothing that can offend, hurt, or manipulate any part of our life unless we permit it. Allowing is agreeing with. It is also believing in and more importantly, inviting and expecting.

Meditation

This assists in slowing down thought by reducing external stimulation. It is reconnecting with self where all the truth lies. The truth about our brilliance. The truth about our complexities and resiliency. Unifying the mind, body, and spirit frequently raises a powerful awareness of self that when awakened evokes alchemy.

Nature

It is no new news to encourage you to go outside. Go for a walk, swim, or bike. Roam through meadows or hike into the mountains. Go barefoot along a beach or lie on the grass and look up at the sky. Whatever your preference nature absorbs much of our roaming thoughts. It soothes our erratic energy. It connects us to balance and fluidity. It assists in letting go of resistance.

Focus

Be careful with where you give your undivided attention to. That which you focus on intently will become that which you believe and know to be true. And then so it must be. You will always receive more of that which you continue to generate energy on. Therefore, devote your thinking time to things that bring you peace and joy. Focus intently on what you want. Daydream about how good it would feel when your dreams come to fruition. Imagine your path easy until you practice it so much you cannot recognize your life without ease.

Letting go

Releasing resistance, trusting the flow, and enjoying the ride is not an easy task. Trust is an issue for us, but it will never be worse than the torture we put ourselves through. Nothing is ever conspiring against us. Letting go of past experiences, burdens, personal judgments, and criticisms will only make room for new seeds to flourish. Letting go of negative beliefs, self-doubts, and even our need to be validated by others will liberate our inner being.

Gratitude

Pointing out the things that bring you joy, fulfilment, peace, love etc. is a way of bringing those things to the forefront of your life. It is also a way of spotlighting and being attentive to things that matter and those things that essentially benefit you. Appreciating is the supreme antidote or kryptonite for mental sabotage. Because, when you can even appreciate the ability to create disorder, you have inadvertently disempowered the disorder.

Joy in creation

When you can hold yourself in alignment with your own inner power and know that at any time you can turn on or switch off whatever pleases or displeases you, then you understand the art of creation.  And you will no longer be held hostage by your mind. For you will come to a revelation that your mind is not separate from you or even part of you.

Your mind IS you.

It is the construction, deconstruction and experience of self. You are the masterful creator and receiver of your experiences. You are the decider of how you will feel moment by moment. You are the perceiver that influences how you absorb your world. You are the deliberate chooser and instigator of your thoughts.

And it is ok to feel bad at times for when we finally feel good, it feels really, really, good! Because even a cloudy day helps us appreciate the sun a little more. The darkness helps us appreciate the light. Chaos makes us crave more peace. Division makes us yearn for unity.

And that which we view as ‘bad’ only serves to make us seek out the good.

It is the ebb and flow of life that brings an extraordinary, inconceivable expansion.

It is magic. And all created through an unfathomable human capacity called the mind. That which carries an insurmountable force to take us on a wild, high adrenaline ride of dysfunction and yet just as swiftly, transports us into the climactic adventure of utopia.  

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Once upon a story…

How often were you encouraged to read as a child? Trying to understand and make sense of all those squiggly characters, forming words and sentences. Like that wasn’t enough. You had to understand what you were reading. Well, some of you may have surrendered to those wonderful bound pages, obsessed with your next book fix.

The dread of coming to the end of a fantastic read and not having another series to piggy back on. The glory of drama filled story-telling that has you salivating for your next book feast. You aren’t bookworms slowly eating your way through chapters and paragraphs. You are the book vampires that love to tease themselves by smelling the unique, sweet, musky aroma of pages before sucking the life out of them.  

That other good chunk of you are the eye rollers and head shakers. The thought of reading seems as arduous as doing your taxes. Too much effort trying to remember characters, decipher some of those unknown words or better yet fancy sentences. This group sees books as poetry, just a really, really, long version. They prefer simple and to the point. Short sentences, bullet points and subheadings that can be easily skimmed through are a giant thumbs up. In fact, this group is happy to wait for the movie version. Weeks of torture having to read a book when it can be done and dusted in about an hour and a half with beer and popcorn in hand sounds like a far better option.

Book vampires or not, everyone enjoys a good story and we all benefit from them in some form. It’s no secret that stories exist beyond the world of printed words. Excluding fictional stories written solely for entertainment (which are generally inspired by real life events), ninety percent of stories are life experiences, but one hundred percent of all stories are imagined. At least, everything begins as part of an imagined state before it appears as physical evidence – one that can be seen, heard, smelled, tasted, touched and felt.

Everything is fantasy, imagery and illusionary until we have the evidence that it is not. Having the physical experience of something imagined acknowledges its existence and quickly takes its seat in our so called ‘reality’.

Our exposure to stories is infinite and inevitable. Ultimately, everything has a story.  Every cell and every living or non-living thing possesses a story. If it is energy, it has a story. If it has a past, it has a story. If it has desire, it has a story. The only difference between a story we claim to be fictitious or fantasy and one that is not is simply the sensory evidence of it. Okay, so this is blatantly obvious. What’s not so obvious is the role we play in bringing fantasy into reality.

Stories are creations and creations are stories. It is all part of the imagination. That which you can imagine you can create. That which you create becomes your story. The experience of it is merely your belief in it, desire for it or expectation of it. Yes, this is the role of the Law of Attraction where that which you focus on and bring your attention to moves it into manifestation.

Life is one big story wrapped up in a network of infinite other stories. Stories that delight, inspire and teach us. Stories that captivate, intrigue and motivate us. And stories that scare the living crap out of us.  We tell stories of magic and invincibility and stories of horror and doom. We love all of them and cannot seem to fill our indulgent, gluttonous appetites of these tales. That is why we’re such nosey, curious buggers and why we’re so addicted to the news, social media platforms and reality T.V.

We love a smorgasbord of all diversely dynamic topics.

In fact, why waste time heading to a bookstore, scrolling through our kindle devices or browsing Netflix options when there is an infinite selection of people to choose from. Pluck a person, pick a genre and ask them about their life, thoughts, opinions, beliefs or passions. With so much variety, simply talking to someone could satisfy our craving for a little inspiration, motivation or education.

However, though we can become quite obsessive, it is not about our interest and curiosity in other people’s stories; it is far more about the stories we are creating, living and expressing.

We are the authors, narrators and creators of our own fabulous fables! We are the wizards, sorcerers and magicians of incredible alchemy. The strength and power of our creative mastery is simply the degree of our acknowledgment and belief in it. We are the evidence of all that which we think, believe, perceive and allow. That’s the awesome part! Knowing or better yet, owning that we are the creators of our own reality…well, that’s another story (no pun intended).

Our stories are the perfect products of our beliefs that are expressed in infinite fashions. The stories that go on in our minds and our internal dialogue tell of a fantastic past. A spectacular portrayal of imagination transformed into manifestation through the incredible force and power of belief.

As Masterful Creators and the experiencers of these creations, the most important stories of all are our own life stories. Therefore, it would be beneficial to look clearly at what our thoughts consist of, where we allow our imagination to flow and what topics we consciously choose to give our attention to.

How much are we enjoying our own personal ‘realities’? Are we rolling our eyes or digging our fangs into it?

For many of us, our stories consist of unwanted repeat experiences. It may be a different time in our life, include different faces and places but offer the same familiar results, similar circumstances and all too common experiences. We end up with the same type of abusive partner, stuck in the same financial rut, feel the same draft of lost opportunities.

But these repeat realities are merely repeat thoughts and beliefs. They are the product of habit. When thoughts and beliefs have been rehearsed so much, it becomes what we know. Options outside of this practice are forgotten and become distant fantasies.

When our thoughts linger in past experiences, we repeat past behaviors and make the past the new future. It may feel like karma or as if a lesson needs to be learned. However, behind every truth we are willing to accept about these experiences, we cannot discredit or ignore our own creative control.

Every experience is customized by attracting all the cooperative components that perfectly match our thoughts, emotions and expectations. Think of ourselves as magnets. When we have emotionally charged thoughts and visions around a topic, we open ourselves in reception to those experiences. It does not matter whether we want the experience or not; we will attract that which we focus on and are open to receiving simply by our belief in it or fear of it.    

Every story requires imagination, emotion and belief moving in the same direction. Never do we experience something without one of these elements. It is the simultaneous agreement of all three that becomes our creation and experience.

Our stories are bursts of ‘now’ moments like the pulse of a heart. It is incremental ‘now’ moments based on our thoughts, emotions and beliefs all simultaneously and instantaneously creating the experience. These incremental ‘now’s’ joined together are what tell a story.

Yes, an entire story is experienced right now, right now, right now that are strung together to form what seems like an encryption of our life chronicles.

When we feel a single emotion, it comes with an entourage of stories. Stories we have imagined or stories we have observed. Either way we make these stories the relatives of individual emotions. As we continue to feel a singular emotion or fuel it with specific beliefs, we maintain a rendezvous with these beautiful mini tales.

Though thinking or imagining is the initial part of creation, feeling it is the first full manifestation of our belief. The actual physical experience is almost like the debris of evidence. When we set our radar to a specific emotion such as joy, all our senses are fixed on experiencing joy. Our awareness of joy brings joy to us.

Just like a metal detector’s static energy is set to solely receive metal objects so too does our energy flow create a magnetic field to attract joy in every form joy could emanate. There is no end to the infinite ways one belief or emotion could be experienced even when it feels the same every time.

Don’t be fooled. Though an entire novel could be written around a single emotion, the experience of it is like a shot of tequila. Quick and packs punch. We’re emotional creatures and as quickly as our emotions change, so too do our thoughts, our actions, our stories and guess what, our experiences. This kind of makes us flighty, but we are ever moving, flexing, bending to the rhythm of our own tales.

There is almost always a specific subject that dominates and demands most of our attention we so desperately crave for. And there is a specific emotion that lurks and lingers around every corner breathing hope or despair upon these subjects. Whether it be about love and relationships, finances, business, travel or growing a family, there is a thread that binds our thoughts, emotions and experiences together to give us one complete reality.

Yep, one emotion, one single word that can blow up into an illusionary affair. A single word such as ‘unlucky’, could set the tone for our entire physical experience. There are infinite variables on how one could experience being unlucky and The Law of Attraction simply loves entertaining us with wonderful variations of this belief.

And voila! With one lucid sentence, one thought, one belief, one expectation, we create an entire story and stream of unlucky events. Well, only until we decide to tap into our inner leprechaun and find our pot of good fortune at the end of the rainbow.

The moral of the story is: we can be just as selective a story-teller as we are specific in what we give our attention to.

We are making decisions all day every day. Choosing what to wear, what to eat, where to hide the chocolate bar from our kids, what excuse to use for taking a day off work, when to officially join the gym, where to hide the new pair of shoes from our husband , who to blame for our crappy day and when to get our lazy ass off the couch. Every movement of every single breath requires choice. And every incremental choice is packed with beliefs and emotions. We pick and choose all day long.

However, what we do not choose just as consciously, deliberately and mindfully is our thoughts and stories.

We know what we want but often entertain the contradictory outcome of absence, doom and gloom. If we only understood the deliberate and direct influence our thoughts have on our actions and choices, we would most definitely be more vigilant and prudent about them. Why not choose an emotion that thrills and excites us or thoughts that please and gratify us and watch an explosive display of a fantastic creation.

We are authors of fantastic tales of strength, perseverance, joy, love, hope and sacrifice. We are the reason, the purpose, the expression and expansion of life. We are genius, exquisite beings, Masterful Creators and visionaries. There is no greater story than the story we are telling, expressing and living with all its variables. There is nothing we are not capable of dreaming or creating. We are only limited to our imagination and belief in them.

Choose worthy, uplifting, joyful thoughts. Choose emotions that fulfill you, compliment you, inspire, please and invigorate you. Feel them deeply, experience them entirely and abundantly. Re-tell them, recycle them and repeat them over and over until they become part of you. Experience the expression of the grandest version of you through your most superlative of imaginings. You have the power to decide what deserves your attention and what mood or emotion you wish to ignite or enhance.

Tell your story how you want to live it. Tell it to yourself every moment of every day. Be present when you are telling it. Be present when you are imagining it. Be present when you are envisioning it as though it already is. Tell your story that you would want to read about.

A- la-carte your story that is the perfect splendor and brilliance of you!

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The ‘What If’ Epidemic!

If there was a name for a virus that affected the livelihood of our physical existence, it would be ‘what if’! Mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health are necessities to a joyful, fulfilling life. However, the growing volume, strength and influence of ‘what ifs’ are gradually becoming an epidemic!

These two little words, that do not hold more than one syllable each can affect, influence and change the course of one’s entire life experience. These two words can haunt you in your sleep, be the reason for elevated anxiety, throbbing headaches, tight chest, endless tears and even the reason why you just want to ‘check out’.

They can stunt or break a dream and smear toxic poisons all over what used to be a purely inspired passion. They can ruin relationships, damage friendships and crumble careers; all from a single bogus ‘what if?’

If you ever wondered who is responsible for your disappointments…. it is ‘what if’!

If you were ever curious how clarity and certainty could turn into confusion and doubt…it is ‘what if’!

If you ever pondered how something that felt so right could suddenly feel so wrong…..it is ‘what if’!

They’re like that one colleague with a bad attitude that somehow always shows up and can ruin a perfectly good day with a simple comment. The one that is always complaining, demands answers and likes to put a damper on everything.

We are all well acquainted with these two incredibly influential words. We can say we have spoken and heard them equally. They’re part of our daily worrisome dialogue. When we are not throwing ‘what ifs’ at ourselves, we are generously bestowing others with them.

Sometimes, we don’t even feel we need to point out the ‘what if’ factor. When we really want to make a point, we’ll leave them out simply so that what follows is emphasized with greater intensity, purpose and sense of urgency. For example, ‘What if I end up alone for the rest of my life?’ could easily turn into the matter-of -fact: ‘I will end up alone for the rest of my life!’

If there were ever two joint words more exploited and disfavored, it would be these two. Never have two words been more powerful and concurrently debilitating than what follows them.

We are consumed with infinite possibilities of doom that we become imprisoned by our minds!

When it comes to fear-driven thoughts, images and beliefs, we are never more creative than what ensues a ‘what if?’ In fact, we could give a list of what if scenarios on any given topic in one sitting. There are more fear-driven projections collectively than there are leaves of every tree on the planet!

They range from personal what ifs that jeopardize our dreams, goals and joy to universal what ifs that threaten the extinction of all of life on Earth.

There is no shortage of potential apocalypses: super volcanoes, radiation, ice-age, absorption of the sun, asteroid threat – to name a few.

There is no shortage of potential termination to personal goals, dreams and desires. If we can imagine it, ANYTHING could threaten the full fruition of these.

We are consumed with infinite possibilities of doom that we become imprisoned by our minds!

Sometimes, by the time we are done dreaming our dream, it has lost its strength and significance. When a dream becomes contaminated beyond repair, it can completely alter our experience of it.

So why do we participate and dwell on fear-driven thoughts, and beliefs that are hindering?

Well, the sole reason is due to our belief that something outside of us has control and that we are merely the reactors to life rather than the creators of it.

Based on this rationale, we attempt to overcome them in two ways: prevention and preparedness.

“Good things will come but one must maintain awareness of the negatives at all times” was frequently expressed by my wonderful mother as if annoyed by my frivolous ways with life. She saw perpetual fun as lack of maturity which translated into not taking life seriously. It wasn’t that she was against my playful nature; her concern came from the belief that to deny potential risks, dangers, misfortunes or threats would be to walk through life without a survival kit.

Like many, she has always felt that the most effective way to avoid negative situations is through acknowledgement, awareness and preparedness of them. Anyone who floats through life with joy and optimism is foolish and naïve.

A wise person is someone who makes smart decisions and smart decision makers are not risk takers. They certainly do not rely on optimism. They are not flighty or fickle. They are not spontaneous or impulsive. They are planners and problem solvers.

The irony is, once these fear-driven thoughts have been acknowledged and invited into our mind and our emotions; they comfortably take front seat of our desires causing mayhem. Preparedness is practicing it, expecting it, planning for it and organizing our life around that which we believe is on its way to us.

Though we can appreciate being precautionary, it also sucks the fun out of life. It no longer is about enjoying it, rather, surviving it and merely getting through the day.

When we feel most alive and inspired to be, do, have something of importance, all those ‘what ifs’ start to come out of the woodwork. Maybe not so loud at first. Generally, the excitement far outweighs the negative, curve-throwing, nuisance thoughts. We know they are there, we can at times feel them but the eagerness and intensity of this high supersedes any vexatious imposters.

That is, until someone else has something to say about it!

And we all have something to say about someone else’s decisions, choices, actions, dreams and desires.

Like the time my little family and I announced we were packing up and moving closer to the mountains. We heard the mountains calling for quite some time. Our conversations were filled with details of every way our senses would be aroused and pleased by the beauty. We shared stories and visions and we would often squint our eyes and pretend distant clouds or buildings were mountain peaks. We submerged ourselves in youtube videos, maps, images, stories and anything we could find that stimulated this desire. Until one day, our stars aligned and we knew that day, that time had arrived.

There were a mix of emotions from our family and friends. Our friends were mostly excited for our new adventure. Our families? Well, not so much. Mostly because it opened doors to all the what ifs.

‘What if you don’t end up liking it and you gave up your beautiful home?’, ‘What if you can’t sustain your business there?’, ‘What if you can’t generate jobs and income?’, ‘What if something happens and WE are not close enough to help?’, ‘What if something happens and YOU are not close enough to help?’, ‘What if you get attacked by a bear, wolf, mountain lion?’, ‘What if you injure yourselves on one of your hikes or fall off a cliff?’

Then there were those statements made to emphasize the seriousness of this change. When ‘what ifs’ are eliminated and a question becomes a statement, you know there is a point waiting to be made and these will come out like loose cannons. They will get up in your face and challenge you.

‘You are making a foolish decision!’, ‘You are playing childish games with life!’, ‘You are so far from the only family you have and distancing yourself from your only source of support!’, ‘You need to start all over again’, ‘You will be alone out there!’, ‘You’re giving up a perfectly beautiful home!’.

It basically screamed, ‘Why would you live your life in the way that I wouldn’t or in the fearful way my mind lives it?’ Which is exactly the point. We are not living that life! None of us are. No-one wants nor dreams to live the life of a ‘what if’! They serve no purpose than to create major ripples in our lives or worse yet, colossal waves.

Eventually, the initial shock of the news subsides and our new adventure is somewhat accepted. However, the what ifs do not disappear. They maintain their ground until disproven for unless they are disproven, they remain a possibility. This is about the time the regular check-ins occur: ‘Do you like it?’, ‘Have you met anyone?’, ‘Have you generated any clients, leads?’, ‘When will ……. happen?’, ‘How will it happen?’

Worry, worry, worry!

It can be incredibly exhausting soothing others’ fears. What’s worse is disproving them which ultimately means we must not only promise that everything will work out perfectly but back it up with evidence. This can be intimidating and burdening for now the original impulse or inspiration of the dream has turned into an agonizing objective to prove it.

Most of the time, rather than focusing, imagining and moving toward the most invigorating and gratifying life experiences; we spend more time soothing others’ fears, explaining our choices, soothing others’ fears, justifying our actions, soothing others’ fears, proving our position, soothing others’ fears!

Sometimes some of our most exciting plans can make others a nervous wreck. Unless we are someone carefree and translucent to these types of fears, they can be quite deflating and damaging. The path that once looked bright and clear can quickly become obstructed with all sorts of obstacles and impediments that did not initially exist.

Often, we say these fears come from love and concern, when in fact this type of ‘love’ can decrease the momentum of strong, good flowing energy. More importantly, it is easy to lose direction when our inner intuitive guidance is drowned within the noise of mind-based chatter.

We do this with our partners by packing and stuffing guilt and fear-related thoughts; should these desires and impulses not go according to vision or plan. If they crumble at our constant pressures and all our negative fear-driven garbage along with demands of proof and promise, then they fail at being trusted.

We do this in particularly and most heavily with our children no matter what age we/they are because obviously, we/they will always be perceived as having less experience, be less perceptive, aware or knowledgeable than elders.

And we most certainly return the ‘favor’ to our parents through our frequent reminders of all the things they can and can’t do or should and shouldn’t do due to their age and fragility.

We spew what ifs, planting variety of worrisome thoughts all over the place suffocating and crippling genuine interests and desires.

We can’t seem to mind our own thoughts, our own fears and our own business. We do not like the feeling of fear-related thoughts but for some reason we stay there for days, weeks and even years crying our woes and sorrows and feeling victim to non-existing delusions.

Some of those interests that started off like a blazing flame diminish to a flicker. That grand dream we started running toward with power and excitement slowed to a walk and some of us even stopped and turned back altogether.

Momentum is lost through our what ifs!

Passion is lost through our what ifs!

Focus is lost through our what ifs!

More importantly, our present is lost through our what ifs!

When our focus has shifted to a bogus belief, it hinders our desire. It hinders our destination, journey and fire about it.

Often we are required to answer questions and provide guarantees to what ifs we cannot completely promise. However, our lives are not about fulfilling promises to others. They are about living joyfully and most authentically in whichever weird and wonderful way is befitting.

What ifs will show up. It should not make or break our choices. Ironically, none of these would show up as often if we were not already in the vicinity of them. We would not feel the fear of ‘what ifs’ if we were not already afraid of them. They would not be so easily acknowledged if we were not already seeing them.

The ‘what ifs’ do not exist! We make them up. We steal them from each other and use them somewhere else. We take notes, share them and store them in our memory. We repeat and recycle them and then await them anxiously, fearfully, sadly and angrily. Our fears are imagery. They are first imagined. They do not exist until we pluck them out of our imagination.

No matter what we decide for ourselves, when it feels exhilarating, then it is right where we need to be. When it feels enlivening, uplifting, exciting then we are ripe and ready for the experience. Provided we do only that which feels invigorating, all else is insignificant.

Fall deeply in love with life. Live it authentically, youthfully. Live like no-one is watching or you do not care who is watching! Even when the fears of others come barging in with all their dream-crushing stuff, do it anyway! Live it anyway!  

We are not required to listen to other people’s fears, and it is ok to get up and walk away or even hang up the phone if need be. Trust that everyone knows what is best for them. Trust that you know what is best for you. Trust that life will always deliver your every desire!

Maintain the feelings, thoughts and images that feel best. Be joyous. Don’t take life so seriously. It’s just life. Make it how you wish. Explore it and revel in all has to offer.

There are no rules or guidelines to how your life should be lived. That is human nonsense. Live like you are on vacation. Be free and curious. Trust that it is all working out. There are no obstacles other than the ones that exist in your mind.

Be the ultimate dreamer and visionary! Be the explorer and adventure seeker! Be the rock climber or ballet dancer. Be the single, unmarried mother or the married, gay father. Be an entrepreneur or volunteer worker.

Sleep under the stars, in a van, on the beach. Take a road trip around the country or sail around the world. Do things out of your comfort zone. Live outside the boundaries.

Live curiously! Live boldly! Live abundantly!

Live life like an announcement- not a question!

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Whose Thought Is It Anyway?

Ever wondered where your thoughts come from? Where all those perceptions, beliefs and ideas about the world and yourself, were accumulated? Sometimes it feels as if your mind has a mind of its own.

Thoughts are like the perfect getaway where you can be anywhere, be anyone, or do anything in the privacy of your own mind. The convenience of exploring images and creating stories for simple satisfaction can be quite gratifying.

However, they can also be like a never-ending agonizing movie between pauses of sleep. Fear driven, random, obnoxious, stressful, and exhausting. If only there was a way to unsubscribe to this negative chatter. Ironically, you cannot seem to take your attention away from them. They engage you as if you are in some sort of hypnosis.

They are also like your mother constantly in your ear telling you what you should and should not do or encouraging you in what you can and cannot do. Actually, many of your thoughts are your mother. Not to worry, it is all out of love. Even as this ‘love’ follows you around through adulthood well after you have left the cozy, sheltered nest and her ruffled, protective feathers.

Luckily, they are not all your mother. They are also your father, your sibling, your teacher, your aunt and uncle, your neighbor, your priest, and every other adult deemed qualified to insert their opinions about you. 

Surprise! Not all thoughts are your own raw, authentic, inspired, and guided musings.

Thoughts are clearly not just a string of words. They are images, perceptions, and beliefs. While we do enjoy reveling in the succulence of our imagery and all of that which the imagination offers, we have a strong desire for the experience of them.  

Though a small chunk of what we think are what we refer to as nonsense thoughts that are random and insignificant, there are some thoughts that lie heavily on our hopes, dreams, and desires and often take up a great deal of our mind time. Other thoughts are action based and are filled with routine daily errands, to-do lists and work-related duties. But there are those habitual thoughts that are so well rehearsed they germinate all over every other thought. These thoughts are at the heart of all our daily chatter. These are the thoughts we practice, trust, and believe in that affect every aspect of our life experience.

They are perception of self!

Self-chatter is incessant. Whether we are doing the laundry, buying groceries, or interviewing for our next job, our self-chatter is constantly buzzing like an orchestra of cicadas.

Much of what we think and how we view ourselves influences our choices, actions, decisions, experiences, and future reality. Our internal dialogue is the makeup and narrative of our life story. What we believe becomes our imprint, our personality, our pattern of thought and template of experiences. Therefore, it is imperative we are aware of the kind of conversations we frequently entertain about ourselves.

How others perceive us rarely has anything to do with who we are. What goes in one ear does not go out the other so easily. Their opinions often get bound inside our beliefs without an escape chute and is regurgitated and recycled over and over like dirty laundry.

We hold faithfully to our nonsense garbage that we not only behave this way we allow it to affect our next action, next sentence, next idea and so forth. Sometimes we try to ‘quiet’ these thoughts during significant events or decisions. While we may succeed at times, they often become incredibly loud. So loud in fact that it causes us to become a nervous wreck.

Ironically, the stubborn, stagnant beliefs that do not serve or benefit us seem to be the ones we nurture the most. We have cradled them for so long, we have a hard time knowing ourselves outside of this noise.

But where did we pick up these thoughts? Where along the way did these thoughts become our friend or foe, strength or weakness, success or failure, freedom or bondage?

Let’s face it, there is a whole sea of self-sabotaging thoughts that can surge like a virus during our most vulnerable moments. If we allow them, they can consume any healthy optimism and leave us wallowing in self-pity. Even so, we should not worry; like any virus, it passes, and we are back to our usual, familiar jargon.

But, how much of our inner dialogue is remnant of those adult voices and guided by their opinions? How much of what we believe is still active by our past influencers?

When does someone else’s thought become our dominating thought?

Well, it begins with the stamp of our birth certificate. First a name is established along with gender and origin that automatically places us in categories. From then on as we learn how to operate and function our physical bodies, the filling, stuffing, and plugging up of our future mind chatter begins.

Children’s purity (meaning pre-adult pollutants), curiosity, joy, and eagerness for life marks them as naïve and vulnerable. For this purpose, any opinions, expressions, or perceptions outside the societal and cultural norm are often quickly adjusted and redirected by adults. It is as though a child’s youth is incapable of understanding things adults’ experiences and the struggles they have endured and overcome had taught them. Thus, succumb to a very restrictive and confined people pleasing lifestyle.

Adults are always well intentioned when they provide their long lists of what is appropriate and inappropriate along with the equivalent list of acceptable, expected criteria children are adult-pressured to follow. Such ‘coaxing’ is undertaken as a form of protection paving the way for a brighter and safer future. Or so they believe.

Our strengths and weaknesses are quickly identified through the perspectives of others that are sometimes gently, sometimes playfully and sometimes aggressively brought to our attention. We learn to adopt these views, accept them as our own and mold into the person/personality we have been perceived, told, described, criticized, and complimented we are.

School is where we learn a lot about our physical, intellectual, social, religious, and cultural differences. We learn to scale our intelligence according to criteria, stages, grades, and standards so from a young age we promptly discover how smart or ‘challenged’ we are. In fact, much of our self-knowledge is in direct comparison to another. We have all understood the insinuations when being encouraged to be ‘more or less’ like someone or something.

Unfortunately, ‘different’ can be quite daunting. We discover early on how to adapt to our environment by suppressing as much of what makes us different from the popular classes and categories as possible. This generally does not change much throughout adulthood; we simply advance in our fallacious performances.

Getting to know ourselves through the ‘eyes’ of others is deceptive. They can be unknowingly oblivious to how deflating, discouraging and disempowering their opinions can be. Sometimes they can be so oblivious they haphazardly share and express what pleases or disappoints them about us as if they were talking about the weather. Nevertheless, we are awarded their views and will continue to be reminded of them for as long as we listen.

Though we may be living under the roof of and ‘under the influence’ of our adult advisors for a brief, yet most significant time of our lives; we eventually break free, get kicked out or escape that wonderful opinion packed nest. We all taste that freedom of making decisions for ourselves. It can be a little intimidating at first when we no longer have someone telling us what to do but, our path to self-discovery is sweet.

It is important to note here that if you come from a European background, leaving the nest may not be till you are forty and no decision is your own decision for as long as your parents are alive. You are part of a unit, so you best be prepared for heavy guilt trips, analytical talks, lectures about life and of course the free psychic sessions about your future if you step outside these boundaries.

That true taste of freedom would not be until morbidly speaking, your parents die. And by that time, you have remained under their control for so long, you would only be just beginning your life what others have already lived in dog years. However, you have the luxury of security, home cooked meals, pampering and financial support. It is kind of the trade-off for being under their control. Let’s insert ‘loving’ control for their love is equally as fierce as their possession over you.

Meanwhile, throughout our adult life, we desperately search for this inner being that feels different to that which we have so devoutly practiced. We yearn for this raw self that has been suppressed for quite some time. The self that feels liberated and invigorated yet is declared forbidden. The self that we often attempt to keep quiet and hidden in an effort not to be criticized, judged, or rejected. The self we often attempt to connect with through travel, religion, books, hobbies, and other interests. The self we sometimes go to extremes for and rebel against to release it from the bondage of societal expectation and self-ambush.

However, one thing we all have in common no matter what our situation or circumstance is the freedom to simply think. The freedom to imagine. The freedom to explore and create all that our heart desires.

We also have the freedom to choose; choose that which benefits, that which uplifts, inspires, and strengthens our inner being. In fact, we have such innate freedom to choose the thoughts we think that we could choose to be imprisoned by the worst of them.

To some degree, we are all hoarders of thought. Our emotional attachments to these thoughts keep our grip a little tighter around them. We can even recall our first introduction to them.

“And that’s when my boyfriend said I was fat and pathetic”.

“And that’s the one when my teacher said nothing will come of me”.

“And that’s the one when my father said I’m too naïve to be successful”.

“And that’s the one my boss said I don’t have what it takes to be a leader”.

“And that’s the one society said unless you’re beautiful or successful, you won’t be noticed”.

Somehow, it is these untrue, polluted type of beliefs that are brought to the forefront of our minds while our inner radiant selves get lost in all the rubble. Of course, like any hoarder, the more negative thoughts we accumulate, the more isolated we become from the world and the more distant we become from who we are.

Cleaning out negative beliefs is a step toward inner relief and a giant leap toward personal empowerment.

So, it is time to take out the trash!

Letting go and cleaning out the negative beliefs and chatter is a step toward inner relief and a giant leap toward personal empowerment. If a thought does not feel ‘good’ then it is a waste of good feeling space. It does not deserve a spot on our mantel.

For some of us, it may be difficult letting go of thoughts that have been deeply rooted. Even if they are suffocating and cause dis-ease, they have been part of the clutter. That little ‘bad guy’ on our shoulder with the giant sack of negatives is so loud and obnoxious it is hard not to hear him.

Ironically, we grow to love that thing we hate simply because there is some sort of weird security and comfort in knowing what we know due to its familiarity and predictability. As disappointing and hurtful these thoughts may be, it is balanced out with the validation of what we already expect and believe thus, never feel surprised by them. These are the deeply rooted thoughts. The ones that have presented us with an abundance of evidence of that which we believe to be true. Yes, these are the ones that make us feel like multiple layers of garbage.

Note: we all think our way right to the evidence of all things. Even the garbage!

Unless we are quite happy with our self-sabotaging critiques, there is a simple solution to rising above all the smog and feeling the beam of our own light. However, simple fixes for Masterful Creators like us who relish contrast and expansion find them boring. Anything easy is not satisfying. We enjoy hard work and hard play because there is such satisfaction in the process of discovery and creation.

Fundamentally, we all have the freedom and the imagination to make this as easy breezy or as rough and tough as we please or insist.

There is no fantastic, elaborate procedure or top-secret strategy. The solution lies in our profound ability to ignore and forget. Yes, probably the two most difficult tasks for complex creatures such as us. Just like our magnified minds can ignite what is focused upon, likewise anything ignored becomes absent from our experience.

The beauty of forgetfulness is the opportunity for renewal. This is also the junction to expansion for nothing can expand or grow from the same stagnant ideas, methods, or practices.

Attention to anything keeps it active in our mind and as long it is active in our mind, it is active in our experience. The easiest way to decrease the volume of this internal negative noise is to change focus.

Life makes it easy for us. There are only ever two choices. Feeling good or feeling bad. Fear or faith. An optimistic, good feeling thought or a pessimistic outlook. The direction we choose to follow is completely our luxury.

Our opinion matters!

It is always and only our attention to a subject and our opinion about it that impacts our sensory experience of it.

Whether we are focusing on our appearance, our job, financial status or even something that looks scary and ugly; our attention to it will magnify its presence. Our opinion about it will show up through our emotional experience of it.

Thoughts we have accumulated will call out for our attention. However, it is not necessary nor benefiting to dwell on specific chatter that feels miserable.

If we bit into a rotten apple, would we continue to eat it? Would we dwell on it for days and months? Would we talk about it for years remembering how bad it was? Would we allow it to define us as bad decision makers and unlucky rascals? No! Whilst it sounds a little absurd, we do this! We may not necessarily be obsessing over a bad apple however, we often do this surrounding many of our past disappointments, failures, and regrets.

So how are thoughts about other experiences any different? Well, they are not. We just perceive them as invaders and out of our control. Even though we are the governors, commanders, directors, and managers of all that is allowed entry and granted permanent residency in our minds.

So, we took a chunk out of a bad apple. No big deal. We now know what a bad apple looks and tastes like. We learned what we do not want. We learned which tree not to pick from. It gave us guidance and eagerness for something better. And now, a ripe, sweet, juicy, crispy apple will be far more appreciated.

We instinctively look away from something unpleasant, block our ears from something obnoxious, spit out something distasteful, or pull our hand away from something painful. So why are we so stuck on hoarding thoughts that make us feel emotionally terrible?

Because somehow, somewhere along the way, someone convinced us of them. In fact, so convinced that we believe who we are and all that we experience is our pre-paved journey we were imprinted with. Even though, the only pre-paving was pre-conditioned by our elders. The rest was our life-long work of keeping this active and alive. But we failed to understand that feeling ‘bad’ is our indicator of inaccuracy.

Foreign thoughts or not, you are your own responsibility. This is not about adult bashing for all children bloom into those same adults and practices. Pointing blame at the world serves no purpose for no-one can think for you.

You are the thinker, the imaginer, the perceiver, the interpreter, and the decider of your own thoughts. It does not matter where along your physical trail you picked up on some perceptions, judgments, compliments, criticisms, interpretations, and evaluations of you.

What matters is what you choose to believe, hang on to, how you choose to live your life and how you choose to express your inner light.

No-one can know you better than you. No-one can be you better than you. Therefore, no-one should treat you better than you!

When you have been out of alignment for some time, it takes a little practice letting go of preconceived ideas and reconnecting with your brilliance. Basically, it takes some practice not giving a hoot about anyone or anything else outside of you.

Practice makes perfect!

Back in school, rote and repetition was the best learning tool. It helped for information to stick. Advertisements use all sorts of repetitive jingles and catchy phrases to make their product or service more memorable.

Practice truly does make perfect. But you have also literally practiced your way into many of these destructive beliefs that unlearning them can be tricky. Therefore, it is up to you to find your way of ‘practice’ below that serves to benefit and connect you to your authenticity, joy, and love.

Practice choosing better feeling thoughts.

Your feelings are your best guide as they communicate your thoughts and beliefs. When you begin to feel that negative feeling in whatever negative emotion it shows up, it alerts you that you are stepping away from the truth of who you are. When you really care about the way you feel, you will never pass an opportunity to think thoughts that feel good, empowering, and self-connected.

Practice being present.

You do not have to have it all figured out. Setting up your future is not about getting the next six months or six years done today. Your future and past are happening now. What you give your undivided attention to and have an opinion about now is automatically and simultaneously becoming your past and future experience. The momentum of your current thoughts will carry you into your new reality. Your future is the echo and projection of your present thoughts. Therefore, what you think is imperative for it will influence your next inspired action. Be joyful now! Be optimistic now! Love who you are now! As long as you have ‘now’ figured out, the rest will fall into place.


Meditation is the safe alternative antibiotic for the mind!

Practice meditation.

Meditation is like the safe, alternative antibiotic for the mind. It eliminates or slows down the negative thought ‘bacteria’ from multiplying. Quieting the mind allows the natural positive flow of your inner being to surface. Maintaining these healthier thoughts by remaining focused strictly on all that makes you feel good is your power potion!

Practice affirmations.

They can aid in breaking the habit of negative chatter and turn up the volume on positive aspects. Affirmations can assist in redirecting your focus until you realize your genius, your grace, and your inner beauty.

Practice writing in a daily gratitude journal.

It can be the new filling, stuffing, and plugging of appreciation chatter. Finding gratitude in things magnifies them and shines a light on all that surrounds you that you have forgotten. It will train your mind to continue to search for more things to be grateful for as your senses become accustomed to the beauty that abounds and surrounds you. It will assist you in realizing and recognizing your fortunes, blessings, and bounties.

Practice nature.

Being outside among nature is like a natural up-lifer. Mama Nature is most certainly an attention grasper and knows how to entertain. She is a great distraction and can charm even the most stubborn of thinkers. Nature can be that gentle reminder that nothing serious is going on and that all is well. She isn’t called ‘Mother Nature’ for no reason for just like your mama she provides that soothing, tender relief. She is like a big, warm hug with just the feel of the sun’s rays or the soft breeze. She will tell you a daytime story by surrounding you with a kaleidoscope of butterflies or invite a choir of birds to sing. Mama Nature is never intrusive. She is simply there in all her wrath and glory, a pure demonstration of absolute authentic beauty and power.

Practice reminding yourself of all that you love about who you are.

Submerge yourself in the fantasy of your greatest desires and dreams. Discipline yourself by only having conversations about things that make you feel good, excited, or inspired. Frequently remind yourself that all is well, and everything is ALWAYS working out for you. Apply these to your everyday routines until you begin to realize them.

Life is an infinite assortment of sensory pleasures. We are but a single product made up of a collection of bi products blended and intertwined.

If all that we think, all that we quarrel over, agree or disagree on, create and destroy is part of the same conscious physical world that we call life and that we co-create together; at the beginning and end of all that is, ever was or ever will be……………whose thought is it anyway?